The Carlin Girls
by JewWitch
Summary: AU. South of Nowhere, with a Gilmore Girls twist…set in Northampton, Massachusetts, a.k.a. Dyke Disneyland. Intrigued…?
1. Chapter 1

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 1**

**By JewWitch**

Disclaimer: Characters from South of Nowhere are property of Tom Lynch.

Summary: AU. South of Nowhere, with a Gilmore Girls twist…set in Northampton, Massachusetts, a.k.a. Dyke Disneyland. Intrigued…?

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Ashley Davies woke to two very familiar, not particularly pleasant sensations. One, she had a blinding hangover. Two, she was in a strange bed, with a strange girl lying asleep beside her. Stifling a groan, Ashley sat up, managing not to hurl on the aforementioned strange girl or bed, but only just barely. Her head felt like it had spent the night having hot metal rods shoved through it, a sensation that seemed linked to the slow-churning nausea lower down. It was agonizing, but then again she was used to it. She'd even managed to leave a bottle of water for herself on the bedside table (she had absolutely no memory of this, but there it was), which she now cracked open gratefully, taking a small sip with a tiny sigh of relief. Carefully, she slipped out from under the covers and stood up, having no desire to wake the sleeping stranger beside her. Then she'd have to say something, and try to act like she actually remembered anything from last night—like the girl's name, at the very least.

Taking a step toward her clothes, which were flung over a chair across the room, Ashley winced. _Guess I picked a rough one_, she thought, glancing down at her bruised thighs, feeling the ache all the way up between her legs, into her soft, raw insides. _Then again, maybe I told her to do that_. It didn't really matter. This was how Ashley was used to feeling. This was how Ashley thought she was supposed to feel.

The hangover, at least, she knew how to cure; after easing her bruised body into her clothes, underwear stuffed into her back pocket, she downed a handful of Advil and tiptoed out the door, sunglasses in place before the bright September sun hit her face. Times like these, she appreciated the small-town life of Northampton, Massachusetts, where she could wake up with no idea where she was, and still be within walking distance of her favorite coffee shop and juice bar. She made a beeline for the place, already crowded now that a new school year had begun, and all the sexy Smith girls were back in town. Even with the continual thudding ache in her head (not to mention a few other places), Ashley grinned behind her sunglasses. _Hunting season is now open_, she thought, pushing past the gnawing feeling of emptiness in her gut, past the nausea and the soreness and the pounding in her skull, focusing instead on the eye candy all around her.

"Hi, what can I getcha?" The question snapped Ashley back from her daydreaming, to find a living, breathing daydream right in front of her. The girl behind the counter was an angel. She wasn't Ashley's usual type at all—she wasn't sultry or dangerous looking, she didn't have any visible piercings or tattoos; she wasn't even wearing any makeup. The girl was blonde, for god's sake. And her smile wasn't sending any throw-me-against-a-wall-and-fuck-me vibes. It was a different kind of smile all together, and Ashley couldn't say exactly what kind of vibe it sent…only that it momentarily quelled the nausea churning up her stomach, like a ray of sunlight pouring out of those tropical ocean eyes, calming the storm inside her. The blonde angel cocked her head, still smiling, and Ashley realized a little late that she was supposed to say stuff now.

"Oh, um, right…give me a 9-1-1. …Please." She normally didn't say please, but it just sort of slipped out.

"Okay, 9-1-1…don't tell me, that's, um…" Blondie closed her eyes, a little crinkle of concentration forming above her nose. There was no denying it was freaking adorable, but by now Ashley's hangover was getting impatient, and her momentary impulse of politeness was brushed away by a stab of pain in her head.

"Okay, see, if you open your eyes, you can see that there's a big ol' menu right behind your head, with a handy-dandy list of all the things that go in the blender."

"I know, but I spent all last night making flashcards of everything on the menu, and if I can remember them today, I'll never have to look up again."

"Look, cupcake," Ashley snarled, "You're not getting a grade for this, okay? I'm really not interested in your psychotic study habits, and I'm not gonna give you a gold star. I just want my goddam smoothie sometime today." The smile drained away, as a harder expression settled into her blue eyes.

"Coming right up," she said brusquely, her eyes completely flat as she turned and glanced up at the menu, then bustled off to make the smoothie. Ashley closed her eyes and groaned. _Captain hangover strikes again,_ she thought ruefully. _Oh well, she's probably straight, anyway…there are one or two straight girls poking around this town._ She stood there feeling sick and irritable for a couple of minutes, and when blondie came back with her drink, she already had her money out and ready.

"On the house," the blonde girl said when Ashley tried to pass her the cash. "For your trouble." If it had been one of the regular baristas making this statement, Ashley would've considered it a come-on—she had slept with most of them, so she knew the flirting rules of The Haymarket—but there was nothing inviting about the blonde girl's voice, or her expression. It seemed more like she'd just realized she'd pissed off a customer on her first day, and didn't want to make it any worse.

"Um…thanks," Ashley said dumbly, unable to think of anything more intelligent or gracious to say in her current miserable state. Blondie nodded curtly, and turned away to go help the next customer; as soon as she did, Ashley stuffed a ten dollar bill in the tip jar, and went to find a table.

Half an hour later, her smoothie gone, Ashley was feeling much better. It was mid-morning by now, and the café was fairly quiet; most of the college kids had cleared out to attend their big-brained classes, and the working adult population was long gone. The only customers left, besides Ashley, were a few of the regulars, freelancers who sat all day with their laptops, mainlining espressos and nibbling vegan wheat-free cranberry muffins while they worked, and young mothers with strollers stopping for a juice break on their way to whatever fruity baby percussion or African dance class was en vogue that week.

Ashley watched the blonde while she worked. She looked angelic again, now that she didn't have a pissed off Ashley in her face, and she actually seemed to enjoy the trivial tasks of the morning, from cutting up an entire crate of bananas to be stacked in the freezer, to wiping down all the tables in the place. She had a tranquil, almost meditative expression on her face as she worked, her blue eyes faraway…Ashley felt a bizarre, fleeting desire to be wherever the blonde girl was at that moment. _Get a grip, Davies_, she shook herself. _She's a hottie, sure; but she's not the queen of the fucking Nile. You just want to nail her. That's it._ Her brain back in its most familiar zone, she strode back up to the counter, sliding on her most sultry grin, and leaning over the counter on her elbows with catlike grace.

"Hey. Sorry I was such an uber-bitch before. It wasn't you; I just had a monster hangover." She looked up from below her long lashes, giving the blonde a teasing smirk. "You know how it is."

"Vaguely," the girl shrugged coolly, looking up for only a moment from her task of wiping down the counter.

"Aw, come on," Ashley prodded, determined to get another angelic smile like the one she'd gotten before. "What are you, eighteen? And you have no sympathy for one little moment of bitchy-hangover weakness?"

"I'm nineteen," the girl replied coolly, "and I'd have more sympathy for your hangover excuse if it wasn't 10am on a Tuesday."

"What's your beef with Tuesday?" Ashley asked, realizing as soon as it was out of her mouth that this girl was probably one of those prissy, I-only-party-on-weekends-and-holidays types. She managed to hold in her grumble of annoyance, getting only a stiffly raised eyebrow in return. Still, she wasn't ready to give up.

"I'm Ashley," she said simply, holding out her hand. "I come in peace?" Finally, she got another smile, a real one, and it flooded her stomach with the same sunshiny feeling she'd gotten when those bright blue eyes had first landed on her.

"Spencer," the blonde girl replied, taking her hand and giving it a surprisingly firm shake for someone so delicate-looking.

"So Spencer, what dorm are you in?"

"Oh…" the blonde girl—Spencer—looked up uncomfortably, a slight blush tingeing her pale cheeks. "I'm not…a student, or anything." She shuffled her feet a little, like she was admitting something terribly embarrassing.

"Oh!" Ashley exclaimed, a little thrown, but not particularly disappointed. "That's cool, me neither. I just assumed, cause, it's September, and you're new in town…"

"How do you know I'm new in town?" Spencer raised her eyebrow again, and Ashley was sure this time that there was something teasing, maybe even a little inviting, in her expression.

"Oh, I'd definitely have noticed you," Ashley grinned, pleased to see a warm, pink blush rising in the other girl's cheeks. "So, since you bought me breakfast…can I buy you dinner?" Spencer's smile faltered.

"Um, that's really nice of you to offer, but I can't. Sorry." She quickly went back to wiping down the counter, her hand moving in brisk circles over the crumbs and water stains, as if it was the most urgent task in the world.

"That's cool," Ashley shrugged, not thrown off as easily. "Another day, then?"

"Look…Ashley." It was the first time she'd heard the blonde angel say her name, and she knew right away that she wanted to hear it again, preferably gasped in the throes of pleasure. "I'm really sorry, but I can't really make any plans right now. I just…don't have a lot of free time." She frowned down at the counter like it had just said something nasty to her, while Ashley stood perplexed.

"What do you mean, you can't make plans? You don't go to school, so you don't have homework or classes; and even if you were totally psycho and worked here like 12 hours a day, you'd still have another 12 to do stuff. What are you, a secret agent or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Spencer shrugged, her movements stiffening as she finished wiping down the counter, and tossed the rag into the sink. "I'm a secret agent. Excuse me." She turned her back on a bemused Ashley, and started cleaning out glasses.

"Um, okay…" Ashley raised her eyebrows, surprised but in no way discouraged. "Just so you know, I come in here pretty much every day."

"Thanks for the tip," Spencer said over her shoulder.

"I'm just gonna keep asking, until you give me some kind of tangible reason why not."

"Knock yourself out."

"A'aight, then…" Ashley blinked, totally at a loss as to how she'd gotten herself into such a ridiculous conversation. "See you tomorrow, Mata Hari." She was sure she heard a snort of laughter from Spencer as she walked out.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey peeps!

Thanks for all your great feedback, it's awesome to know you're all digging this set-up! Here is an update, have a happy weekend!

--JW

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 2**

**By JewWitch**

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By the time Spencer's shift was over in the evening, she was both exhausted from being on her feet all day, and wired from all the free coffee she'd downed. Making a mental note never to drink more than 3 cups of coffee in one day again, even if it _was_ free, she hung up her apron and clocked out. The sun was still bright overhead, and the early fall air was warm and balmy on her skin as she made her way up Main Street, past the tattoo parlors, indie music stores and art galleries that made the small town stand out from other such rural hamlets. As soon as she rounded the corner past Town Hall, a small park came into view, full of romping children; parents and caregivers sat close by on benches, and milled around the playground equipment. Her eyes quickly found the form of a smiling three-year-old with bright blue eyes, her shiny brown hair pulled back into two neat pigtails on top of her head, each tied with a small red ribbon. She sat in the sandbox beside another little girl around the same age, digging and talking energetically together. _If only I could make new friends that easily,_ Spencer thought.

"Spencer, dear, how was your day?" A white-haired old woman, who had been sitting on a bench beside the sandbox, came and kissed Spencer on the cheek.

"Hi, Mimi. It was okay. How was everything with you guys?" Before the old woman could answer, a pretty black girl about Spencer's age interrupted them.

"Hey, I guess you must be Spencer?"

"I must be," Spencer agreed, shaking the girl's hand with a slightly bemused smile on her face.

"I'm sorry, Spencer—this is Chelsea," Mimi hastily introduced the two girls, and Spencer automatically took the hand Chelsea offered her in greeting.

"And that little noodle right there"-- she pointed to the second child in the sandbox—"is my daughter Melina."

"Oh!" Spencer blinked as understanding finally hit her. "Oh, well in that case it's _very_ nice to meet you. We just moved here a couple of weeks ago, and I haven't really had a chance to meet any other moms yet…" _Especially not ones my age_, she wanted to add, but thought it might be rude.

"Well our girls seem to have taken quite a shine to each other; they've been playing together all afternoon." Before Spencer could form a response, the blue eyes in the sandbox looked up and spotted her, a familiar smile breaking over the small face.

"Mama!" The little girl was up and running, throwing herself at Spencer, who picked her up and twirled her around before settling the child on her hip.

"Hi, sugar snap," Spencer beamed, her smile identical to the one on her daughter's face. "Did you make a new friend today?" The little girl nodded, her smile turning shy as she pressed her face to Spencer's shoulder. Spencer kissed the top of her head and hugged her close.

"Melina!" Chelsea called, waving her own daughter over from the sandbox. The little girl looked up, and reluctantly abandoned her castle, wandering over to their group. "Baby, this is Audrey's mama. Her name is Spencer. Can you say hi?"

"Hi, Spencer." The little girl blinked up at the blonde, turning shy as well, and attaching herself to Chelsea's leg. "Mommy, can Audrey and me play some more now?"

"Well baby, it's almost time for dinner…" She glanced over at Spencer. "Would you all like to join us? We have dinner at Spaghetti Freddie's every Thursday. It's kind of our thing."

_"Yeah!"_ Both children shrieked, while Spencer looked uncertainly from Chelsea, to the old lady on her other side.

"Oh, that's so nice of you to offer…but, um, we only have one car, and Mimi has her bridge game to get to, so…"

"Nonsense, sweetheart! You young people go and enjoy yourselves. I'll have Phyllis come and pick me up on her way." Spencer looked back and forth between them again, resisting the impulse to automatically refuse. Finally, she looked down at the eager blue eyes of her daughter, full of hopeful anticipation.

"Do you wanna go have dinner with Melina and her mommy, babycakes?" Audrey nodded, beaming, and wriggled out of Spencer's arms to run back to her new friend's side.

"Well I guess that's settled," Chelsea laughed, watching the two little girls tear off down the sidewalk hand in hand, giggling.

"Um, thank you, this is really nice," Spencer said awkwardly, giving the old woman a kiss goodbye before following Chelsea down the street.

"Oh, please, it's our pleasure," Chelsea waved her off. "I just have a friend meeting us there, I hope that's all right."

"Sure," Spencer shrugged. "Sometimes I forget that I need friends as much as Audrey does."

Spencer followed Chelsea's car to the restaurant, as little Audrey babbled from the back seat about all the fun she'd had with Melina. The blonde let her mind drift a little, nodding along to her daughter's excited recitation. She wondered when it was that she'd become too old to do what her daughter did so easily when she saw someone she liked—just walk up to them and say, 'Hi, I'm Spencer, do you want to play with me?' Of course, she had sort of had that chance today…but the sexy brunette from the coffee house was clearly _not_ interested in being friends. _She was definitely interested in playing, though_, Spencer thought fleetingly, a warm blush rising in her face. She savored the feeling for a moment before pushing it aside. _Forget it, Carlin, that's not gonna happen. You have a kid to raise. You don't get to be an irresponsible teenager anymore_. She focused instead on the happiness in her little girl's voice as she talked about her day, and all the fun things she'd seen around town with Melina. _At least one of us has a playmate_, she thought with a sigh.

The restaurant was a cheerful and comfortable place, with crayons and booster seats for the kids, and a decent menu of grown-up food for the adults. They chatted about this and that; then Chelsea looked at a point past Spencer's shoulder, smiled, and waved.

"Ash!" She called. "Over here!" Spencer looked up, and felt her jaw drop and her stomach squirm. It was sexy smoothie girl, standing right in front of her for the second time that day, looking just as surprised as Spencer felt, but managing to give her a playful smirk before she sat down. "Ash, this is Spencer, and this is her daughter Audrey. We just met today in the park. Spencer, this is my best friend, Ashley."

"Hey, Mata Hari. Didn't think I'd be seeing you again so soon," Ashley drawled, a cat-that-ate-the-canary grin spreading across her face. "Not that I'm complaining." Spencer tried to think of something to say, but her mouth had gone suddenly dry. She picked up her water and took a hasty gulp.

"Do you guys know each other?" Chelsea asked, raising an eyebrow at Ashley in a warning expression, like she knew exactly what the brunette was thinking.

"Oh yeah, we've got a history." Ashley winked at the blonde girl, teasing, and Spencer couldn't decide whether to scowl or grin in return. She took another large gulp of water. "Spencer here made me a life-saving smoothie this morning when I was…" she glanced at the kids. "When I had a little tummyache."

"That's my auntie Ashley," Melina said to Audrey, oblivious to the awkwardness that had settled over the adults. "She's a silly goose."

_"Who's_ a silly goose?" Ashley demanded, turning her wicked grin on the kids, and reaching out to tickle Melina around the middle. The little girl shrieked with laughter, none of them noticing right away that Spencer had stood up and pushed her chair away from the table.

"I'm sorry, Chelsea, this was a bad idea. We should go."

"No!" Audrey cried, her small voice swelling to fill the room, all the signs of an impending tantrum on her unhappy face.

"Aw, come on, Spencer, don't go. You're gonna make your kid cry." Spencer threw Ashley a very dirty look. "Okay, look, I'm the one who's intruding. I should go."

"No!" Melina wailed, and her brown eyes filled with tears. Chelsea looked back and forth between the blonde and the brunette, both of whom were standing awkwardly beside their chairs, staring each other down. Finally, Spencer sighed, and flopped back into her seat.

"Let's just forget it, and have a nice dinner. We can all do that, right?" The little girls nodded happily, and went back to their coloring, their dismay of moments ago already forgotten. The adults, however, were now eyeing each other warily.

"So…how do you two know each other?" Spencer asked, desperate for something to break the awkward silence.

"Aw, we've been friends since the 3rd grade," Chelsea smirked, flashing Ashley a _you're-a-pain-in-my-ass-but-I-love-you_ look across the table. "That's when my family moved to Manhattan, and we ended up next door to each other in the same building. In fact, I wouldn't even be here now if it weren't for this girl and her scheming."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, after I had Melly…" she glanced over at her daughter's head, bent low over her coloring. "I kinda figured college was out."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Spencer nodded, smiling sadly.

"Well, right, but that was when…" Chelsea trailed off, glancing uncertainly over at the brunette across from her.

"That was when my dad died," Ashley finished the sentence, not looking up to meet their eyes. "I needed to get out of the city, and our family had a vacation house here, so I came here to chill for a while. Then I started meeting a lot of Smithies, and I found out that the college here has this amazing program called Ada Comstock Scholars."

"It's for non-traditional students," Chelsea explained with a slightly sardonic grin. "Usually that means older than 25, but you can also qualify by having a kid. If you get accepted, they do everything but give you the keys to the kingdom. They provide family housing, amazing financial aid packages, and they let you go to school part time. Regular students at a fancy-schmancy school like Smith can't do that. Ash kept harping on me to apply, so finally I did…now here I am, a second year art student with my own studio on campus." She shrugged like she still couldn't quite believe it.

"Wow," Spencer breathed. "That's…that's awesome, Chelsea."

"Like I said," Chelsea smirked, looking across the table at her dark-haired friend. "All down to this girl over here." Spencer glanced over at Ashley, too, expecting to see a smug look directed her way. But she was surprised to see an awkward, bashful expression creeping over the other girl's face instead.

"Chels, you got into Smith 'cause you're an awesome artist," Ashley argued with a shake of her head. "All I did was annoy you into sending in the application."

"Mommy! Can Audrey come with me to painting time tomorrow?" Melina's question snapped the adults' attention back to the kids, and away from the slightly awkward, heavy conversation they were having.

"I don't know, baby. Audrey and Spencer might already have plans for tomorrow."

"We don't!" Audrey protested. "Mama works all day now, so I stay with Nana Mimi. But she gets tired a lot, so mostly we just stay home. Mama, can I go play with Melina again tomorrow?" Her wide blue eyes were fixed on Spencer with a pleading expression, and Ashley noted that the blonde seemed just as helpless against the angelic, sapphire gaze as she herself had been when Spencer looked her way.

"I don't know, honey, things are a little crazy right now. And we don't want to impose."

"It's no imposition." Spencer's jaw nearly hit the floor again when Ashley—not Chelsea—made this pronouncement. "Fridays are my special days with Melina, and we do whatever she wants. If she wants Audrey to come along, it's fine with me." The two children beamed at each other, giggling and jumping up and down a little in their booster seats.

"Um…" at a loss, Spencer just looked from her daughter's ecstatic expression, to the smirking brunette across from her. "Well, okay, that would be really great. As long as you're sure--?"

"Jeez, Spence, relax! I'm sure, it's no problem." Maybe it was because she hadn't heard anyone call her _Spence_ in such a long time; but for some reason, the nervous fluttering that had squirmed inside her stomach ever since the brunette sat down suddenly relaxed. She looked across the table at the brown eyes holding hers, and smiled shyly.

"Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

Yo peeps!

happy weekend, here is an update for your spashley pleasure. Been workin' on this one all damn week, in my not-at-all-ample free time. Be appropriately appreciative! And of course, I am also appropriately appreciative of all your super-groovy feedback. I have the best readers ever!

spashley4life-- yeah, I did indeed spend 4 fabulous years as a smithie; then I had to go and graduate. It's hard to leave the smith life for sure, but I consoled myself by moving to nyc (there are a FEW cute dykes in this 'hood, too...)

birdseyeview57-- I am way too big for your pocket, but if I could spend my life telling spashley stories I would! Too bad it doesn't pay the rent ;)

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 3**

**By JewWitch**

A/N: Ashley's song in this chap is "In My Life," by The Beatles. A classic.

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"Ashleeeeey!" Audrey squealed with joy when the brunette pulled into the driveway, running out to meet the car with a huge grin plastered to her face. She leapt up into Ashley's arms, beaming, and Ashley hugged her and kissed her cheek before setting her down again.

"Hey munchkin, cool outfit." The little girl was wearing a sparkly purple tutu and a gold plastic tiara.

"It was this or nothing," Spencer smirked from the doorway, arms crossed. "She can be extremely opinionated about her wardrobe. I know Noho is this super-groovy town and all, but I figured that there might still be a few public places where naked children are frowned upon."

"Nah, she looks great," Ashley smirked back, cocking her head to take in Spencer's early morning attire, a pair of pinstriped boxers and a rather skimpy sleep tank. "And so do you." The blonde girl smiled shyly, just for a second before she bit it back.

"Um, anyway…" Spencer cleared her throat awkwardly, trying to will away the blush she could feel warming her face. "Here's some stuff to get her through the day. I wasn't sure what you'd be doing, so I threw in her bathing suit, a towel, some sunscreen, a light jacket in case it gets chilly later, a juicebox, and her favorite stuffed alligator. If she gets fussy, just hand him over and she'll chill out pretty quick."

"Cool," Ashley nodded, slipping the bag over her shoulder. "She's not allergic to any animals, is she? 'Cause after we pick Melina up, I was gonna take them to the petting zoo at Look Park. There's a kiddie train there, too, Mel goes completely insane over it."

"Oh, Audrey will love you forever if you take her within touching range of anything furry, preferably a pony. That sounds awesome."

"How about food? Anything she can't have?"

"Nope," Spencer shook her head, surprised but pleased with the attentive question. "She's pretty laid back about food—she'll probably eat whatever you eat. Listen, thanks again for taking her. She's really excited about it…and that, um, means a lot to me." She smiled shyly again, and the dark-haired girl smiled back. It was a wider, less calculated smile than her usual predatory smirk, and it crinkled her nose.

"Ashleeeeey!" Audrey called again, stamping her little foot impatiently. "Let's go! We hafta get Melly now!"

"Okay, then…" Ashley's smile stayed firmly in place as Audrey grabbed her hand and started leading her toward the car. "I guess we'll see you at six, Spence."

"Wait a second!" Spencer locked her eyes on her daughter and held out her arms, the shy smile of a moment ago replaced with a full-on beam of sunshine. "Give mama some sugar first." Giggling, the little girl jumped up into Spencer's arms, flinging herself around the blonde's neck and giving her a sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Be good, baby," Spencer murmured as she set her down again.

"I will!" Audrey called as she ran back to Ashley, pulling her again towards the car. Spencer leaned against the doorway and watched them go, waving until they were out of sight. In the car, Ashley glanced in the rearview mirror and noticed a second set of blue eyes fixed knowingly on her, with a superior, childish smirk.

"What?" Ashley asked bemusedly.

"My mama thinks you're pretty." Though she _was_ only three, it was clear to Ashley that the little girl understood she was divulging privileged information; and even clearer that she was enjoying it.

"Oh yeah? She said that?" Ashley couldn't work up her usual poker face with a little kid; her grin was a mile wide.

"Uh-huh," Audrey nodded, her suddenly shy smile an exact mirror of Spencer's, only framed by a darker head of hair. "She said you had the prettiest eyes she ever saw, besides mine."

"Well I think your mama is very pretty, too." Ashley couldn't believe a three-year-old had just managed to make her blush.

………………………………………………………..

By the time six o'clock rolled around, Ashley had been as thoroughly charmed by the smaller Carlin as she was by the full-sized one. Audrey was an exuberant, buoyant little girl, so ready to enjoy life that Ashley found it impossible not to enjoy it right along with her. Of course, Melina was another favorite three-year-old in Ashley's world, and there was no replacing her; but she couldn't deny what different temperaments the two children had. Where Melina was quick to anger or cry when small things didn't go her way, it took a lot to ruffle Audrey's feathers. She was happy to follow Ashley's lead most of the time; and when she wasn't, she didn't make her opposition known by screaming, but actually tried to argue her point, like a tiny lawyer. She even managed to convince Ashley that Spencer wouldn't mind her eating two ice cream cones in one day (actually, Ashley knew this was bullshit; but she was having such a good day that she couldn't bring herself to rain on their ice-cream-parade).

The little girl was just finishing off her second ice cream cone as they pulled back into the driveway, making a beeline for the back yard as soon as she was released from her car seat. There was an old, whitewashed picket fence going all the way around the yard, with a short path to the house; Ashley hadn't noticed the extensive vegetable patches before, all along the inside of the fence, where a white-haired old woman now knelt on a foam pad, digging in the dirt with a spade.

"Nana Mimi!" Audrey squealed, releasing Ashley's hand, now chocolate coated, to run at the old lady who was turning, a little stiffly, at the sound of the child's voice.

"Ooh! Be gentle with your old nana, darling," the woman winced, still smiling as she accepted Audrey's hug. "My old bones might fall down in a heap any second."

"No they won't," Audrey laughed. "Guess where Ashley taked us today, Nana? A petting zoo! And I petted the sheeps and the ponies and the baby goats, and they were so cute! And, and one of them licked my hand."

"Well that sounds wonderful," the old woman beamed, straightening up to take in Ashley's form, standing awkwardly by the fence with Audrey's small bag slung over her shoulder. "And this must be the famous Ashley?"

"I dunno about famous, but…I'll take it," Ashley grinned a little sheepishly, holding out her hand. "Ashley Davies."

"Mimi Katz." The old woman removed one of her gardening gloves to shake Ashley's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ashley. You've certainly made a fast impression on my girls, here."

"Oh, it's definitely mutual," Ashley assured her, one eye still on Audrey as she wandered around the yard, lost in her own little three-year-old world, whispering to the flowers, and nodding as if they were speaking back. "So, is Spencer home from work yet?"

"Oh yes, she got home about twenty minutes ago. Go right on in."

"'Kay, thanks." Ashley smiled a little shyly, not used to parents, grandparents, or people in general being this nice to her. She held out her hand to Audrey, who abandoned her conversation with the flora and ran back to Ashley's side, into the cozy little house. It was quiet inside, and at first Ashley thought that Spencer must have gone out again, after all, and Mimi just hadn't seen her…then Ashley noticed the blonde girl conked out on the couch, dead asleep with her head on her arm. Her feet were still on the floor, and she was half slumped over, looking like she probably hadn't intended to fall asleep there. Ashley wondered, fleetingly, when was the last time the young mother had had a quiet moment to herself like this one. Almost before the thought was formed in her head, Audrey sprang forward, presumably to jump into Spencer's lap and end her rest time. But the little girl's hand was still held firmly in her own larger one, and she pulled her hastily back into the entryway.

"Don't wake her, Audrey. Let's let her sleep, okay?" The little girl scowled.

"I can wake my mama up if I want to. I'm allowed." There was a note of challenge in her voice, and all the authority a three-year-old could muster. It was one thing, Ashley realized, for Audrey to follow her lead when they were out somewhere together, without Spencer; it was another thing completely to expect the little girl to take orders from her when her mother was in the next room.

"I know you can, sweetie. But if we let her sleep…" Ashley cast around in her mind for something to entice the three-year-old. "We could make dinner, and surprise her." Audrey's eyes lit up, and Ashley knew she'd found her mark. "What do you think? Should we do that?"

"Uh-huh."

"Okay, so we have to be real quiet when we go through the living room. Right?" Audrey mimicked zipping her mouth shut, locking it, and throwing away the key, her lips firmly pressed together. Coupled with the serious expression she wore while she did it, it was completely adorable, but Ashley didn't laugh. She just nodded seriously back, took Audrey's hand again, and led her quietly through the living room. She'd intended to go straight through to the kitchen, but when she passed in front of the couch where Spencer was half-sprawled, her feet stopped. She looked down at the awkward position the blonde girl was in, worried she'd wake stiff and sore, with a kink in her neck. And what good did rest do, if it ended so unpleasantly? Releasing the small hand beside her, Ashley reached out and slipped one arm gently behind Spencer's shoulders, and the other under her knees, lifting her feet up and easing her body down into a more comfortable position; then she covered her with the afghan folded at the far end of the couch.

"Huhhmm," Spencer mumbled, shifting a little in her sleep. A strand of blonde hair fell across her eyes. Without thinking, Ashley reached out and brushed it back, feeling very tingly in the stomach for such an innocent touch.

"She looks like a princess," Audrey breathed, leaning against Ashley's side with a little sigh. "Like Sleeping Beauty." Ashley smiled softly, glancing down at the little girl attached to her side, and pressed a finger to her lips. They both tiptoed to the kitchen.

When Spencer stumbled into the kitchen an hour later, blinking and rubbing her eyes, she found a wholly unexpected scene in front of her. Audrey was giggling and covered in flour, while an equally flour-dusted Ashley stood beside her, scooping fresh-baked chocolate-chip cookies onto a cooling rack on the counter.

"Am I still dreaming?" Spencer mumbled, rubbing her eyes again and blinking to clear the sleep-daze.

"Mama! We made cookies!" Audrey squealed, running straight to the groggy blonde and giving her a floury hug. "And spaghetti, too. I helped mix the sauce. And we even made salad, 'cuz Ashley said we had to have a vegetable."

"You did?" Spencer rubbed her eyes again, and yawned. Her hair was mussed, and she had a line pressed into her cheek from the seam of the couch cushion. Ashley thought she looked utterly adorable. After praising her ecstatic little girl and kissing the top of her head, Spencer turned her smile Ashley's way, and the brunette felt her face inexplicably growing warm. "You could've woken me up, you know," Spencer said sheepishly, a slightly apologetic tone in her voice.

"I know," Ashley nodded, grinning. She managed to resist the urge to reach out and touch the blonde girl's hair again, figuring her response might not be as positive now that she was awake. "But this way was more fun. Besides, you looked zonked."

"Yeah, I guess I was," Spencer nodded vaguely. "Where's Mimi?" Ashley thought it slightly odd that the blonde girl would call her grandmother by her first name, but kept the thought to herself.

"She went out to play mah-jong with 'the girls,'" Ashley used air quotes as she said the last bit. "She's really sweet. I wish I had a grandma just like her."

"Oh, Mimi's not my grandma," Spencer said wistfully, with a half-smile. "But yeah, she's great. Definitely better than my real grandma, too." Ashley just nodded, wanting the full story, but figuring it might not be a good topic to bring up in front of Audrey.

"Right. So…hungry?"

"Uh-huh," Spencer grinned. Reaching out, she stuck a finger into the steaming bowl of spaghetti, swirling it around till it was thoroughly coated in sauce. Then she stuck it into her mouth, keeping her eyes on Ashley's the whole time. "Yum," she murmured. Ashley just stood stupidly, unable to even blink, with her mouth half open.

"Mama!" Audrey giggled. "That's not how you're 'aspozed to eat spaghetti."

"You're right, baby. C'mon, let's eat." Spencer quickly set the table, and the three of them happily inhaled their food, both adults praising the child lavishly for her part in the dinner operation. Audrey regaled Spencer with endless tales of their day, from the all-important and worship-worthy ponies at the petting zoo, to the three rides they'd taken on the kiddie train, to ice cream (she left out the second helping, and Ashley was just as glad she did), to visiting Chelsea's studio, where she and Melina had both painted life-sized self portraits on giant paper.

"They were too wet to take with us," Ashley hastily explained, "But I can go back and get Audrey's tomorrow. Or, you know, whenever." The last part was added hastily, as she was suddenly struck with an inexplicable bolt of hesitancy and uncertainty as to whether she might be wearing out her welcome. Where the hell was this coming from? Ashley Davies was many things; but insecure about girls had never been one of them. She knew Spencer liked her—and if she wasn't sure before, that little spaghetti sauce show she'd just put on was pretty much a clincher. So why did she suddenly feel so hesitant to press her advantage? Pushing the thought aside, she hastily slurped a forkful of spaghetti, making Audrey giggle delightedly.

"You're so silly," The three-year-old crowed delightedly. "Can we do this every day, Ashley?"

"Honey, Ashley can't play with you every day. I'm sure she has lots of other important things to do. Besides, don't you think that Nana Mimi would be sad if you didn't want to play with her anymore?" Audrey looked pensive for a moment, her little eyebrows scrunching together exactly as Spencer's had when she'd tried to remember what to put in Ashley's smoothie. It was just as cute on the smaller Carlin, in a G-rated sort of way.

"Okay," Audrey nodded seriously. "Every other day."

By the time they were finished with their leisurely dinner, it was time for Spencer to get Audrey ready for bed. She went willingly, tired from her long, busy day, but asked for Ashley to come upstairs with them. The brunette was happy for every minute she got to spend with the Carlin girls, and happily accompanied them, sitting cross-legged on Audrey's bed (which was just a mattress on the floor) while Spencer changed her into her pj's and took her to the bathroom. Then Audrey climbed sedately under her covers, holding out an obviously beloved old book for Spencer to read to her. When Ashley made to get up from the bed, Audrey flung her small body across her lap and cried, "No!" So Ashley stayed, squished into the corner between Audrey and the wall, with Spencer on the other side. They all settled down comfortably, both the small and large brunettes snuggling into the pillows and watching Spencer while she read. Occasionally Audrey interjected when they came to a word she knew, her voice a little groggier each time. When Spencer came to the end of the book, Audrey piped up, "Now it's Ashley's turn to read." Spencer glanced over at her, and Ashley knew she didn't want her tired little girl staying awake for another whole story.

"How about if I sing you a lullaby instead?" She asked quietly, stroking Audrey's silky baby hair and sitting up a little straighter. Audrey nodded sleepily. Ashley cleared her throat, feeling suddenly shy, and kept her eyes on Audrey as she started to sing, deliberately avoiding Spencer's eyes.

"There are places I remember,

all my life

though some have changed—

some forever, not for better

some have gone, and some remain.

All these places have their moments

with lovers and friends

I still can recall;

some are dead, and some are living

in my life, I've loved them all.

But of all these friends and lovers,

there is no one

compares with you

and these memories lose their meaning

when I think of love as something new…

though I know I'll never lose affection

for people and things, that went before;

I know I'll often stop and think about them…

In my life, I love you more…"

When she looked down, she could see that Audrey was fast asleep, her little hand curled around a corner of Spencer's shirt and her mouth wide open, breathing soft baby breath. Spencer leaned down and kissed the top of her head, gently easing herself from her daughter's sleeping grasp, and the two of them tiptoed from the room—just, Ashley thought, as she'd tiptoed through the living room with Audrey a few hours ago, while Spencer slept. They were both so damn cute when they were asleep, with the same innocent, peaceful expression. She hoped she'd get to see it again.

"Okay," Spencer said slowly when they were back in the hallway. "You spent the whole day with my kid, made us dinner, and put her to sleep…did you make some sort of pact with the devil that I should know about? Are you coming back for my soul tomorrow?" Ashley grinned shyly, and shook her head.

"Would you believe I'm just a good Samaritan?"

"Nope." Spencer grinned back, crossing her arms. "But c'mon downstairs, and I'll start repaying my debt to you in margaritas."

"Oh, no, anything but that," Ashley teased, pleased with the view as she followed Spencer down the stairs.

When they were both seated on the couch with their drinks, Ashley cocked her head, leaning back against the cushions. "So, Spencer Carlin. What's your story?" Spencer snorted and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, you know. Just your typical single teenage mom, leading a life of glamour, excitement, and spaghettios."

"Audrey's an amazing kid," Ashley said earnestly, and Spencer positively beamed.

"Yeah, she is…I mean, thank you."

"She's got your eyes," Ashley pressed on. "And your smile…whose everything else does she have?" Spencer took a sip of her drink, looking up at the ceiling for a long, pensive moment.

"I guess that would be her dad—my first and last experiment with heterosexuality." Ashley choked a little on her drink. "Whoa there, nelly! Did I shock you?" Spencer snickered, looking positively delighted while she pounded Ashley on the back.

"No," Ashley wheezed, eyes streaming. "I just got some tequila down the wrong pipe."

"Uh-huh," Spencer smirked disbelievingly. "Well, anyway. Since you asked. The short version is, that after my brother Glen died of leukemia when I was nine, my parents split. I begged my dad to take me with him, but he was so lost in his own pain, he couldn't deal with me, either. So off he went to be noble and build wells in Africa or whatever, and I was stuck with my mom, the asshole of the universe. Whatever I did, it was never good enough for her, you know?"

"Yeah," Ashley nodded, a sad, sympathetic smile playing across her lips. "I know."

"Well anyway. By the time I got to high school, my mom and I were basically strangers who lived in the same house. And even though I knew, deep down, that I had no use for boys, they were plenty interested in me."

"No kidding?" Ashley blinked innocently. "Can't imagine why."

"Shut up," Spencer grinned, blushing. "So basically, Aiden was the first one to give me all the attention I needed, that I'd been starving for ever since my dad left…he even thought he loved me…and at the time, I thought that that was all I really wanted. Just, to be loved. So one day, I let him fuck me on my mom's Ralph Lauren bedspread after school. And as soon as it was over…I knew that just being loved wasn't enough, after all. I knew I didn't love him back."

"So that was it?" Ashley blinked, incredulous. "You just did it once, and you got pregnant?"

"Yup." Spencer's expression was bittersweet. "He even wore a condom, and everything…but apparently, every once in a while, the fine folks over at Trojan churn out a dud."

"Un-fucking-believable," Ashley shook her head. Spencer just shrugged.

"I played the whole 'what if' game so many times when I was pregnant…you know, what if he used a different condom, what if I went on the pill first, what if I hadn't been desperate enough for some shred of affection to have sex with him in the first place. But once Audrey was born…I couldn't play that game anymore." Ashley nodded. "I broke up with him the next day, and a few weeks later I started going out with this chick named Carmen. I didn't love her either, to be honest…but she was a _lot_ better at the naked stuff than Aiden ever was." Ashley grinned evilly, but still didn't say anything. "Then I started throwing up every morning…Carmen's from a big family, she knew right away what was up—she knew it before I did. And needless to say, she dropped me like a hot tamale."

"What? Spence, that's totally fucked up!" Ashley exclaimed indignantly.

"I couldn't really blame her," Spencer shrugged. "I mean, come on. What kind of self-respecting teenage dyke wants to date a pregnant girl?"

"Wouldn't have stopped me," Ashley blinked seriously. Spencer cocked her head, regarding the dark-haired girl seriously.

"Well you're a diamond in the rough, Ashley Davies." They looked each other silently for a moment. Then Ashley reached out, and ran her hand through Spencer's blonde hair, gripping her gently by the back of her neck. Spencer tensed.

"It's okay," Ashley whispered, leaning in closer, so close she could feel the blonde girl's warm breath. "Just relax…" Their lips touched, and Ashley was transported. Her entire body felt this kiss, like she was one huge nerve ending, her stomach suddenly a mass of jello. She wanted to kiss, touch, and lick every inch of Spencer's skin, wanted to spend the rest of her life right here, tasting the inside of her mouth.

"Wait," Spencer panted, breaking away with her hands pressing Ashley's shoulders back.

"Shh," Ashley murmured, reaching out impatiently for another mind-blowing, stomach-exploding kiss. "I just wanna make you feel good, Spence." She leaned in again, but Spencer pushed her back, hard, and sprang up from the couch.

"No," Spencer shook her head. "I'm sorry, but no. I can't. Not like this."

"Like what?" Ashley demanded, bewildered.

"You have to go." She marched to the door and held it open, arms crossed like she was shielding herself. "I'm sorry, okay? Just go." There was a slight quiver in her voice, but her eyes were stone cold. Ashley just sat in complete bewilderment.

"Spence, wait a minute. Can we back up a second, and just talk? This is crazy! This is"—

"Get. Out." Spencer enunciated slowly, quietly, but with more venom in her voice than Ashley would've imagined possible a few moments ago. "_Now."_ Realizing she wasn't going to talk her way out of her eviction, Ashley slowly stood, angry and embarrassed when she felt tears sting her eyes. She walked to the door, shoving her feet hastily into her shoes and giving Spencer a long, searching look.

"Whatever I did to piss you off, I'm sorry…okay?" Ashley's voice cracked on the last syllable, and a few of the tears stinging her eyes spilled over. Spencer was staring at the floor now, instead of her.

"Goodnight, Ashley," she said quietly. The dark-haired girl just shook her head incredulously, and walked out, hearing the door snap shut behind her the second she was through it. _What the fuck?!_ She fumbled with her car keys, finally getting the door open and throwing herself into the driver's seat. Feeling stupider than she'd felt in a long time, she wiped her eyes and started the engine, headed somewhere with a lot more booze and a lot less conversation. _Who needs you, Spencer Carlin. There are plenty of girls in this goddam town who'd give their right tit to fuck me_. She peeled out of Spencer's driveway and didn't look back.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey kidz!

here is another update, sorry to make you wait. Hopefully you'll think it was worth it ;)

Birdseyeview57-- why are you bein' such a tease?? In answer to your question, yes I'd be interested in hearing more. I PM'd you. Still waiting for a response... (?)

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 4**

**By JewWitch**

……………………………………………………………………………………………

The moment Ashley was out the door, Spencer felt a physical sense of loss well up in her stomach, flooding through every part of her body that was screaming to be touched by the dark-haired girl. How had she let this happen?

"You fucking idiot," she whispered bleakly to the empty room. Then she burst into tears. That was how Mimi found her when she came home, curled up sobbing on the couch in a tight ball.

"Oh, dear," the old woman sighed, dropping her handbag by the door and sitting down heavily by Spencer's feet, patting her quivering leg. "This isn't at all what I was expecting to come home to. Whatever happened, darling?"

"I'm so stupid," Spencer sniffled, her voice barely intelligible with her face half-pressed into the couch cushions. "It's all my fault…"

"What, Spencer? What's your fault?" The blonde girl took a deep breath, and wiped her eyes, looking up for the first time at the kindly old eyes gazing down at her.

"Well, we were…me and Ashley…after Audrey went to sleep, we, um, we had some margaritas…and we were just talking. But, really good talking. She's so easy to talk to…once you get past the cocky pick-up lines." The old woman chuckled. "And I guess I thought…I don't know what I thought. I fell into this little fantasy bubble-world. I mean, when I first met her, it seemed like all she was interested in was…um…" she looked up awkwardly, a pink blush rising in her tearstained cheeks.

"Sex?" Mimi asked gently, with no hint of a flinch.

"Uh-huh," Spencer nodded, relieved that she didn't have to be the one to say it. "But then all of a sudden she's taking Audrey to the zoo, and she made us dinner, and covered me with a blanket when I was asleep…" Spencer shook her head, brushing her hair back from her face as she tried desperately to put her jumble of feelings into words. "And I guess I just thought it was…maybe…turning into something more. Maybe even something real." She sighed, and closed her eyes. "And then she kissed me…and it was…it was the best I ever felt in my whole, stupid life." Her voice cracked, as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, but I still don't understand why you're sitting here, crying your eyes out all alone."

"I kicked her out," Spencer sniffed, wiping her wet face on her sleeve. "She was going too fast, and…I just…"

"Now, wait just one minute." A steely expression came over Mimi's wrinkled face as she looked sharply into Spencer's red eyes. "She didn't try any funny business, did she? Because if she did"—

"No, no," Spencer hastily shook her head. _Ashley wouldn't do that_, she wanted to say; though she knew she had no authority to say what Ashley would or would not do, having known her for roughly 48 hours. "It wasn't anything like that. She stopped when I said stop. But I just…kind of…completely freaked out."

"Why?"

"Because!" Spencer cried, jumping up from the couch and pacing around the room, as if the rant exploding out of her was more than her body could physically contain. "I was just so mad at myself for being so stupid! All she wanted was to get into my pants, and I let my guard down! I let her in! I let Audrey get attached to her! And for what? One empty night of sex?!"

"How can you be so sure of what Ashley wanted?" The old woman asked gently, with a kind, slightly sad smile. "I was married for forty-seven years, and I can tell you that knowing what another person wants or feels at any given moment is damn near impossible, sweetheart. Did you try talking to her?"

"She wanted to, but…I just couldn't. I couldn't be in the same room with her, I couldn't think straight after the way she made me feel."

"So you just kicked her out?" Spencer nodded, trembling with misery.

"Oh, sweetheart." The white-haired old woman sighed. "I think you may have just made a big mistake."

"What?" Spencer gaped at her. "You're telling me to go have meaningless, casual sex?!"

"No, you obstinate girl," Mimi laughed, which for some reason incensed Spencer, her cheeks flushing with anger now instead of embarrassment. "I think the mistake you made was in thinking that sex was all she wanted from you."

"Oh, okay," Spencer said sarcastically, still pacing sharply around the room. "How many people do you know who put out on the first date because they're looking for a deep, meaningful relationship?"

"And how many people do _you_ know who spend the whole day with your daughter and then stay to cook you dinner—just to, as you so aptly put it, _get into your pants?_" Mimi raised one silver eyebrow, and Spencer snorted. "You're a beautiful girl, Spencer, but I'm sure there are plenty of attractive girls around town who Ashley could court with far less effort. She wanted to talk; you were the one who didn't. Even the way she said your name when we met out in the garden…" The old woman shook her head, a wistful expression passing over her eyes. "Don't give up so easily, my darling. Real chances at happiness don't come around every day." Spencer sighed, and nodded.

"Thanks, Mimi," she murmured, closing her eyes as her body was enveloped in a hug.

"Now go and call her, child. Sit down and have a real talk. I'll stay with Audrey."

"I won't be late," Spencer promised, flipping her cell phone open as she walked out the door.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Ashley, meanwhile, went straight to Diva's and started pounding back shots of Patrón at the bar. It wasn't long before she got asked to dance, and not much longer after that till she left the club in some random hot girl's car. Ashley took the whole bottle of Tequila along, and by the time she stumbled into the girl's (Noella? Natalia?) bedroom, it was three-quarters gone.

"You're feisty," the black-haired girl grinned, leaning back on her elbows against the mattress. "I think I'd better brace myself."

"Damn straight," Ashley growled, jumping onto the bed and pinning her anonymous partner's hips down, kissing her roughly, her teeth scraping over soft skin. She knew she was being a little brutal; a savageness was welling up palpably inside her, making her skin crawl. If she didn't release it, she might explode; or just start screaming her head off. Anyway, the chick seemed into it—she moaned and arched her back when Ashley grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, ravaging her throat with tongue and teeth.

"Oh, fuck, yeah!" the girl squealed ecstatically, writhing under Ashley's demanding hands. "Do me, baby!"

"I'm not your baby," Ashley snarled, sitting back on her heels while the other girl caught her breath.

"So tense," the girl shook her head playfully. "Want something to take the edge off, tiger?" She reached into her back pocket and pulled out a little plastic baggie of pills. Ashley had no idea what they were, and frankly she didn't care. She put out her hand, and swallowed both of the little white pills she was given. "Whoa!" the girl's eyes widened in surprise. "I didn't mean for you to take those both now. One was for later!"

"Well now it's later," Ashley shrugged. Then she leaned over and plunged her hand down the girl's skirt.

……………………………………………………………….

When Ashley stumbled home, sometime past 2am, she found Spencer sitting on her porch swing. The blonde girl had one leg tucked up under her, the other pushing lightly off the floorboards to make the swing rock gently back and forth. Ashley stopped dead in her tracks, blinking uncomprehendingly. Was she hallucinating? After all of the chemical convulsions her body had been through in the last few hours, it felt like a distinct possibility.

"Hi," the blonde girl said softly, a bleak smile flitting across her lips. "Is it too late to change my mind about that talk?" Slowly, Ashley climbed the steps, and dropped into the swing beside Spencer, sighing deeply.

"I might regret being this honest, but…for you, Spencer, I don't think it'll ever be too late." She felt a warm hand slip into her own.

"I'm so, _so_ sorry for flipping out on you, Ash," Spencer said quietly, her voice trembling a little, like she was trying not to fall apart.

"Okay," Ashley nodded impassively, not ready to let her guard down again quite yet. "So what the fuck happened, huh?" Her words were abrasive, but her tone was genuine, and strangely tender.

"I…I just…" Spencer floundered for a moment, running a hand impatiently through her hair. "I haven't been close to anyone for a long time. And suddenly here you are, swooping into my life, and you made me feel…" she shook her head, lost for words. "You made me feel so much so fast, I got scared. I didn't want to be just another notch on your headboard. I wanted…more."

"Is that really what you think of me?" Ashley asked, stung by the blonde's statement, even while a part of her screamed, _hello, that IS you!_

"I'm not judging you, Ashley," Spencer said earnestly, squeezing her hand. "There's nothing wrong with having a lot of sex! You're young, hot, and free to have a good time. That's cool. But sex isn't a recreational sport for me."

"That's not what I wanted from you," Ashley insisted, urgency creeping into her voice as she looked deeply into the blue eyes across from her, suddenly desperate to be believed.

"Oh, really?" Spencer raised an eyebrow skeptically. "When you tried to pick me up at the coffee house, you weren't just looking to score?"

"I wasn't"—Ashley started to say, but faltered under Spencer's clear blue gaze. "Okay…I admit it. Then, I was just looking for sex. That's usually all I'm looking for. The truth is…I've never even been in a real relationship. But tonight…" she trailed off, a scared, helpless look in her eyes, like a lost little girl. "You made me feel so much so fast too, Spence. I didn't know how else to express myself. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." They sat silently for a moment, staring into each other's eyes in the moonlight. Spencer reached out and pulled Ashley in by the back of her neck, pressing their foreheads together. Ashley reached out, too, slipping her fingers into Spencer's hair. "This is completely crazy," Spencer whispered.

"I know," Ashley softly agreed. "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing…we barely even know each other. But I think…" she swallowed. "I think I might…sort of…maybe…possibly…be falling in love with you." Their foreheads were still pressed together, and they both had their eyes closed. But when Ashley finished talking, she felt Spencer pull back, holding her face firmly in both hands to look deep into her eyes. The blonde girl smiled, innocent and wide-open, hiding nothing.

"I think I might, sort of, maybe, possibly, be falling in love with you, too." The nervous knot in Ashley's stomach dissolved, and her heart began to pound heavily in her chest. If this was love, the closest she'd ever come to it before was taking ecstasy. But this was better. This was real…and it might even last longer than eight hours.

"Really?" She squeaked, happy tears welling up in her eyes.

"Really," Spencer nodded shyly. They leaned in at the same time, and shared a soft, incredibly tender kiss, savoring the softness of each other's lips, and the same jolt of adrenalin. "Hmm," Spencer sighed. "Listen, it's late, and I have to get home to Audrey and Mimi…do you want to come, and maybe…sleep with me? Just sleep?"

"That depends," Ashley said coyly, cocking her head with, incredibly, a shy smile of her own. "Is snuggling aloud?"

"Oh, it's mandatory," Spencer nodded vehemently. Grinning like idiots, they hopped off the swing, still holding hands, and walked to Spencer's car.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 5**

**By JewWitch**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Ashley had barely taken a step toward Spencer's car when her whole body broke out in a nervous sweat. What the hell was she doing? Did she honestly think she could be good for this sweet, caring, honest, amazing girl? And what about Audrey? Could she really promise to be there for them the way they deserved? She'd never had to be reliable before. And how could she go from some drunken stranger's bed, to Spencer's, in the same night? Suddenly Ashley felt sleazier than she'd ever felt in her life.

"Spencer, wait." The blonde girl stopped short, blinking innocently at the dark-haired girl's suddenly anxious expression. "There's something I have to tell you, before you decide whether you…" Her throat closed as a sob welled up in her chest, but she swallowed it back down. This was important. She couldn't start blubbering.

"Ash, what is it? Nothing you can say is gonna make me change my mind." Spencer squeezed the warm hand still held in her own, with a lopsided grin. It made Ashley's heart constrict, like the blonde girl was squeezing the inside of her chest instead of her hand. She knew Spencer meant it when she said she wouldn't change her mind, but…that was probably because she just couldn't imagine what a selfish jerk Ashley really was.

"Okay, so tonight, after I left your house…"

"You mean after I kicked you out," Spencer reminded her gently, a guilty expression flashing across her face.

"Um, yeah," Ashley nodded. "I, uh, did something I shouldn't have done…something I do a lot, actually, but I won't do it ever again, I mean, not if we're together, but the point is you should know"—

"Ashley, you don't have to tell me everything you've ever done before we can be together," Spencer said gently, pulling their linked hands closer so she could play with Ashley's fingers. It was very distracting.

"I know, but tonight—I got drunk at Diva's and went home with a stranger. I had sex with her. And I took speed. Actually I didn't even know what it was when I took it, and you should know that, too. I'm reckless. I do things for no damn reason at all, just cause I'm bored, or I don't want to feel anything, or"—Spencer cut her off with a kiss, releasing her hand, finally, to trail her fingers over smooth cheeks.

"Shh," Spencer whispered, her breath warm on Ashley's face. "It's okay, baby. I already know you have a past that's very different from mine…but none of that matters to me. I'm not here to judge you. And tonight, well…I know I hurt you, and that's why you did those things…and we hadn't exactly made each other any promises, had we?"

"I guess not," Ashley said slowly, her heart rate easing as she realized that Spencer wasn't going to throw her away again. Her thoughts were still back on the sound of Spencer's sweet, slightly husky voice, calling her _baby_. She wanted to hear it again.

"So there's nothing for me to be angry about, is there?" Spencer concluded logically, one hand still stroking Ashley's cheek, a soft smile playing over her lips. "You may be a lot more experienced than me when it comes to sex…" she grinned shyly. "But _I'm_ way more experienced than _you_ at relationships. Ours starts right now. Just so we're clear: are you willing to be completely, totally, one hundred percent monogamous with me?"

"Completely. Totally. One hundred percent," Ashley agreed, nodding feverishly.

"Good," Spencer smiled, kissing her lightly on the lips. "Me too. The rest…we'll teach each other along the way."

"Okay," Ashley nodded goofily, leaning in to return the kiss. She'd never had a kiss like this before…a kiss meant to soothe her, rather than drive her wild. A kiss that offered comfort and protection, and made her look forward to tomorrow, for the first time in years. She followed Spencer back towards the car, and this time the wriggling in her stomach was strictly the good kind.

Ashley drew light patterns over Spencer's bare knee with her fingertips all the way home, fully aware of each little movement the blonde made as she squirmed around in her seat, the pink flush rising in her cheeks just visible in the moonlight. Luckily, it wasn't a long drive—nothing in Northampton was—and Spencer managed to keep enough of her attention on the road to avoid crashing the car in a fiery inferno. They tiptoed into the house, slipping up the stairs in the darkness, Ashley's hand held firmly in Spencer's as the blonde led her to a door at the far end of the hall. It was so late, and they were both so tired, that they didn't even bother turning on the lights; they just peeled off their clothes, and climbed into bed in their t-shirts and underwear, snuggling together with sleepy sighs of contentment.

"This is the first time I've ever been in bed with a girl who wasn't naked," Ashley mumbled, feeling Spencer's snicker against her chest.

"Look how you're growing," the blonde mumbled, her voice already rough with sleep. Ashley could tell she was exhausted, and slipped a hand under her shirt to rub her back. Spencer sighed deeply, and burrowed a little deeper against the brunette's warm body. Now Ashley could feel Spencer's soft, even breathing against her collarbone. She kept up her light backrub, totally absorbed in how good it felt to touch Spencer this way…how smooth and warm and perfect her skin was, the little sighs that meant she felt good; that Ashley was making her feel good. Shifting a little under the blonde girl's weight, Ashley felt the bare skin of her stomach come into warm, solid contact with Spencer's, and it gave her the most delicious jolt, all the way to the tips of her fingers and toes. No doubt about it, Ashley was more turned on right now than she'd ever been in her life. Normally, she would've slipped her eager fingers into far naughtier places by now; but she knew that wasn't what Spencer wanted. Eventually, yes, but not tonight. And knowing that, knowing how safe and protected and cherished she was in Spencer's bed, Ashley just savored the incredible feelings zooming around her body, brand new and exciting and even a little scary. But not too scary…not with Spencer's soft breath on her throat, and their bodies curled together like interlocked pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Before she had time to think anymore, Ashley slipped away into in the inviting blackness of sleep.

……………………………………………………………….

"Saaaaaturday! Mama, wake up Mama, it's Saturday! Time for pancakes!" This shrill proclamation hit Ashley's ears at the same time that a small, very solid lump hit her knees on top of the covers. She groaned and twisted away from the little feet jabbing her without opening her eyes. "Ashley!" Audrey squealed delightedly, launching herself more fully on top of the brunette's body to hug her. "You slept over! Now you can have blueberry pancakes with us!"

"Ughhm," Ashley mumbled. Audrey giggled.

"Mama? How come Ashley won't wake up?"

"She will, baby," Spencer yawned, turning on her side toward her daughter, who was now snuggled contentedly between the two adults. "Most grown-ups don't wake up as fast as kids do. Give her a minute, okay hon?"

"'Kay," Audrey nodded, bouncing back off the bed and scampering down the hall, singing _Saturday, Saaaturdaaay_…all the way down the stairs. Ashley groaned sleepily, blinking her eyes open.

"Issit morning…already?" She yawned blearily, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh, sorry, did you want to sleep past 7am?" Spencer teased. Ashley whined and rolled over to get closer to the warm body beside her, flinging one arm over Spencer's hip and pulling her close. Spencer didn't resist, curling up happily against Ashley's sleep-warmed body and running her fingers lightly through the other girl's auburn locks. Then she kissed the top of Ashley's head, and pulled away.

"Noooo," Ashley whined, locking her arms around Spencer and pulling her back into the warm depths of the blankets. "Stay."

"I'm sorry, baby, I gotta get up…there's a little girl downstairs waiting for her breakfast, and she doesn't have a snooze button." Spencer played with Ashley's hair as she spoke, kissing her all over her face. "But you can go back to sleep, beautiful…we won't go anywhere without you."

"Uh-uh," Ashley yawned, shaking her head stubbornly as she sat up. "If you're up, I'm up." She blinked sleepily, and Spencer laughed.

"Oh my god, you are so completely adorable."

"No I'm not," Ashley grumbled, eyes still glazed with sleep. "I'm tough, not adorable. …Did I hear something about blueberry pancakes?" Her eyes finally opened fully at the notion of food.

"C'mon, tough girl," Spencer giggled. "I'll make you some bad-ass breakfast."

Once she had a cup of coffee in her, Ashley perked up considerably, dividing her attention between watching Spencer cook breakfast with a big, goofy smile on her face, and playing dinosaurs with Audrey. She knew enough about three-year-olds to know that they were generally dinosaur experts, but Audrey's encyclopedic knowledge of each plastic toy she held up was beyond anything Ashley had witnessed before. It was a little scary, and extremely cute at the same time.

"You can be Zuniceratops. He's from the Cretaceous. He only eats plants. His horns are just for self-defense."

"Okay," Ashley nodded, smiling at the serious expression on the little girl's face as she rooted around in a large cardboard box full of toys.

"I'll be Quetzalcoatlus." She held up a flying dinosaur with a wingspan almost as long as its name, and whirled it once around the room, her arm stretched high above her head. "It's actually a pterosaur, not a dinosaur. It's from the Cretaceous, too. It's the biggest of all the pterosaurs! It had a wingspan of about sixty feet, I believe." Ashley grinned, but bit back the laughter that threatened to bubble up; she didn't want Audrey to think she was making fun of her. But what kind of three-year-old says 'I believe,' anyway? She looked up and caught Spencer's eye, with a _whoa, your kid is smart_ look in her eye. Spencer smiled and raised her eyebrow, as if to say_, yeah, tell me about it_.

They were halfway through their pancakes when Mimi came downstairs, her steps slow and shuffling even as she beamed at the three of them. "Well if this isn't a lovely sight for these old eyes," she smiled knowingly.

"Good morning," Ashley said shyly, feeling suddenly awkward. She had never stuck around anyone's house long enough for breakfast before. And even though she knew Mimi wasn't Spencer's real grandmother (she'd have to ask about that the next time she was alone with the blonde), she still had a distinctively meet-the-parents sort of feeling, glancing quickly down at herself to make sure she was presentable.

"Nana Mimi! Ashley slept over!" Audrey informed the old woman joyfully, picking up her fork and cramming a syrup-drenched chunk of pancake into her mouth.

"So I see," Mimi nodded, pouring herself a glass of juice and sitting at the table on the one side that remained unoccupied, which put her directly across from Ashley. "It's nice to see you again, dear." Her eyes positively twinkled.

"Oh, thanks—I mean, it's nice to see you again too, Mrs. Katz."

"Please, we'll have none of that formality here," the old woman scoffed, waving her hand as if to dispel a fog. "Call me Mimi."

"Okay," Ashley nodded, relaxing a little and taking a hasty gulp of coffee. She felt Spencer's hand on her knee, and looked over at her, her face going suddenly hot as they grinned at each other. For a second, the rest of the world slipped away.

"So," Mimi pressed on, breaking the trance. "What are your plans for today, girls?"

"That's a good question…" Spencer cocked her head and blinked, and Ashley thought she looked exactly like a puppy. "You're the local expert, Ash. Any thoughts?"

"Let's go to the petting zoo!" Audrey shrieked, before Ashley had a chance to answer. "You can meet the ponies and the sheeps, Mama."

"Sweetie, you were just there yesterday. Why don't we let Ashley pick something today? I bet she knows a lot of fun things we could do." Both sets of blue eyes now turned on her, Ashley blinked bemusedly. She couldn't get over how much they both, for whatever crazy reason, seemed to implicitly trust her.

"Have you been to the Eric Carle Museum yet?" She asked. Audrey's eyes lit up.

"He wrote _The Very Hungry Caterpillar_," she said eagerly, displaying her keen memory yet again. "Is it a caterpillar museum?"

"Nope," Ashley shook her head. "It's an art museum for kids. There's lots of art from kids' books, and there's an art room where you can do your own painting projects, and a little library with story time. How does that sound, sweetie?"

"Yeah!" Audrey shrieked, jumping up from her booster seat and almost knocking over the syrup. "Let's go!" She charged from the room, and a moment later they could hear her small footsteps scrambling up the stairs.

"I guess that's that," Spencer smirked, popping one last bite of breakfast into her mouth.

"You'll like it, Spence, a lot of the art they have there is actually pretty cool. I take Melina there all the time. And the hands-on stuff keeps 'em busy for a pretty long time." They both understood what Ashley was leaving off—_so we can have time to talk_—and they grinned at each other again, a little shyly.

"Sounds perfect," Spencer beamed.

"And tonight, Audrey and I can have a nice dinner together at home, while the two of you go out," Mimi said grandly, like a female Santa Claus.

"No, no, Mimi, you don't have to"—

"Spencer Carlin, don't you dare try to refuse. I absolutely insist that you young people go out and enjoy yourselves. Don't you agree, Ashley?" Once again, Ashley found herself the center of attention. She took a hasty gulp of her coffee.

"Um, well, I…I would love to take you out on a proper date, Spence. You know, somewhere without crayons and booster seats." Spencer rolled her eyes, a reluctant grin tugging one corner of the mouth.

"I can't believe you two are ganging up on me already," the blonde girl smirked with a shake of her head.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey peeps!

Just for the record, this update was ready 3 days ago, but the server for the website was down (as many of you may have noticed). But now we're back in business. Huzzah! Thanx for all the groovy feedback :)

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 6**

**By JewWitch**

………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

"But I want to have dinner with _you!_ Why can't I come?" Audrey whined crankily, tugging on the corner of Spencer's denim miniskirt.

"I told you, hon, Ashley and I need some grown-up alone time. Besides, didn't you have fun at the museum?"

"Yeah," Audrey grumbled reluctantly, crossing her arms and poking out her lower lip in a classic Carlin pout. "But it's not fair." Spencer sighed, and looked down from her makeup mirror, patting the top of her daughter's head consolingly.

"The world isn't fair, kiddo." Audrey twisted away from Spencer's hand, and threw herself face-down on the bed, where she lay motionless for almost a full minute. When this strategy provided no reaction from Spencer, she sat up, blinking curiously at her mother's back.

"Mama? Is this a date?" Spencer had no idea where Audrey had heard this word, having been out on exactly zero dates since her daughter was born.

"Yeah, baby, it's a date. Do you know what that means?"

"It means she has to bring you flowers, and you have to kiss her." Spencer laughed.

"Well, that's one way of putting it. I think the flowers are optional. But what it really means is that I like Ashley a whole lot, and she likes me, too. When two people like each other and want to spend more time together, they go on a date, so they can be alone together. Do you understand, sugarsnap?"

"Uh-huh," Audrey nodded with a dejected sigh. Spencer dabbed on a bit of shimmery pink lip gloss, inspected herself critically in the mirror, and turned to her sulking child.

"Well? How do I look?" Audrey glanced up speculatively. Spencer was wearing an aqua blue sweater over her miniskirt, with just a little bit of skin showing in between. Her hair was up in a simple twist, and she wore only a hint of gloss.

"Good." Audrey gave her the thumbs-up, and Spencer smiled nervously, suddenly aware of how anxious she was. She hoped the queasy feeling in her stomach wouldn't last all night. The sound of the doorbell brought her out of her reverie, her stomach leaping up into her throat. She must have blanched visibly, because Audrey hopped off the bed and hugged her legs. "Don't worry, Mama. You look extra-super very extremely pretty."

"Thank you, honey," Spencer smirked. Taking her daughter's hand, she led her down the stairs, where Mimi was letting Ashley into the foyer. The brunette held a small bouquet of white lilies, tied with a purple ribbon.

"I _told_ you she would bring flowers!" Audrey exclaimed triumphantly, running to inspect the blooms. Ashley looked slightly abashed, as if she thought she were losing points for lack of originality.

"They're beautiful," Spencer beamed, feeling a delicious tingle run up her spine when she took the flowers from Ashley's hand.

"They smell pretty, too." Audrey said dreamily, pulling Spencer's hand down so she could stick her face right into the flowers.

"I'm glad you like them," Ashley said awkwardly, her cheeks turning slightly red. They stood smiling bashfully at each other for a long moment, till Audrey reached up and tugged on Ashley's sleeve. The brunette looked down inquiringly.

"You're 'aspozed to kiss her now," the little girl stage-whispered, loud enough for all of them to hear.

"Audrey!" Spencer squealed, the color rising in her cheeks. Ashley, on the other hand, grinned saucily, her awkwardness dissolving as Spencer's increased.

"Well, if I have to," she teased, reaching out to cup Spencer's cheek in her hand for a sweet, kid-friendly kiss on the lips.

"Oh," Spencer sighed, a slightly dazed expression on her reddening face.

"Come on, Audrey, let's you and I go put these flowers in some water," Mimi said firmly, taking the child's hand in one of her own and the flowers in the other. When they had both passed through the swinging door into the kitchen, Spencer returned Ashley's wicked smile.

"How about we try that one more time, without the audience?" Not needing to be told twice, Ashley took Spencer's face in both hands, and Spencer leaned automatically into her as their lips met. Spencer opened her mouth, eager to explore with tongue and teeth, while Ashley ran her fingertips up and down the back of Spencer's neck, making the blonde girl melt against her with a sigh of longing.

"Hi," Ashley murmured, pulling back from the kiss just enough to press their foreheads together.

"Hi," Spencer murmured back, heart still pounding in her chest.

"So I guess the flowers worked."

"Shut up!" Spencer laughed, hitting Ashley lightly on the arm.

"Ouch, domestic violence already," the brunette teased, rubbing her arm in mock-distress. The gentle teasing had done its job, breaking the sexual tension that lay thick between them. They grinned easily at each other now, neither of them blushing.

"Mama!" Audrey came hurtling back in from the kitchen at top speed, flinging herself onto Spencer's legs. "Please take me! Please, please, I promise I'll be good!" Spencer sighed and hoisted her child easily onto her hip, with an apologetic glance at the dark-haired girl beside her.

"I'm sorry, Ash. She's just not used to me going out at night." Then, to her distressed little girl, she said gently, "Honey, we talked about this. Grownups need special alone time, just like you and I have our special alone time. Ashley and I have to go now, but you're gonna have a nice dinner with Nana Mimi, right? And I'll be home before you know it."

"No!" Audrey wailed, and burst into tears. "I don't want you to go!" She clung to Spencer like a little barnacle, refusing to let go. The blonde girl looked up helplessly, clearly at a loss.

"Hey, Audrey," Ashley said gently, rubbing the little girl's shuddering back and leaning in very close to her. "How about if you and I make a deal?" Audrey stopped crying and looked up from Spencer's slightly damp shoulder.

"What kind of deal?" She sniffed.

"How about if every time I take your mama out…I promise to bring you back a special surprise."

"What kind of surprise?" Audrey asked, wiping her eyes and sitting up a little straighter in Spencer's arms.

"Well if I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise, now would it?" Ashley smiled, a sneaky, secret sort of smile. Audrey smiled reluctantly back.

"…Okay," she agreed finally. "You can go out. But I need extra kisses." Spencer gave Ashley a wide-eyed, incredulous grin. Then she spun her daughter around, kissing her, while Audrey shrieked with delighted laughter. When the ride was over, Audrey held her arms out to a surprised Ashley, who recovered quickly and scooped her from Spencer's hip, adding a dozen more of her own kisses to the little girl's rosy cheeks.

"Be a good girl for Nana Mimi, sweetheart," Spencer reminded her as Ashley set her down.

"I will," Audrey nodded, running back toward the kitchen the moment she was set down. "Bye!" She called over her shoulder before disappearing behind the swinging door.

"Wow," Spencer sighed, shaking her head with a disbelieving grin on her face. "You just scored some major brownie points there, Ash. Though I'm not too crazy about bribing her into letting me have a social life…"

"Don't worry, I promise not to spoil her." Spencer raised an eyebrow. "…Too much," Ashley added sheepishly. "I wasn't thinking of anything big, just a little pack of stickers or a lollypop. Is that okay?"

"Yeah," Spencer smiled, reaching out to lace their fingers together. "That's okay."

……………………………………………………………………….

"I can't believe we're still in Massachusetts. It's so…so beautiful and mellow out here," Spencer sighed, looking out the window at the setting sun, framed by rolling hills of cornfields across the rural two-lane highway.

"You don't have to tell me," Ashley nodded lazily from behind the wheel. "I'm a New Yorker." Spencer turned in her seat, blinking speculatively.

"Do you miss it? This place must be a little…dull, compared to growing up in Manhattan." Ashley snorted.

"First of all, there isn't just_ one_ Manhattan. There's like, an infinite number of lifestyles being lived on this one, little insane island. And the part I got stuck in was _not_ the fun part. It was the snobby, gin-soaked, mental-illness-causing part. Plus, my mom is there, and no thank you. There are only so many times a day I can process what a disappointment I am."

"I hear ya," Spencer grinned sympathetically, and a little sadly. "I guess we both sort of came here for the same reason."

"Guess so," Ashley agreed. Then, raising an eyebrow, she glanced across the seat at the deep frown lines suddenly etching Spencer's face. "Does your mom even know where you are, Spencer?"

"Yeah," Spencer shrugged a little morosely. "She knows." There was an awkward silence.

"You're really lucky to have Mimi," Ashley offered, with obvious sincerity. "I mean, I don't have anyone like that in my life. What is she, like, your godmother?"

"More like fairy godmother," Spencer sighed, looking out at the red and lavender skyline behind the setting sun. "She found me sobbing on a bench in Boston Commons. I had just had a huge fight with my mom…it was one of those fights that seems unbelievably stupid, but really isn't, and it was about Audrey, and I just snapped and took off. Audrey was really freaked out, she kept asking me what was wrong, but I couldn't stop crying…so I just took her to the Commons so we could both cool off a little. She chased the ducks, and I just sat there sobbing, because I knew I had to get her the fuck out of my mother's house…but I couldn't see how." Ashley didn't want to interrupt the story, but she felt like she had to do something; so she reached out her free hand and squeezed Spencer's knee.

"Anyway…" Spencer sighed, and leaned her head against the window. "Mimi came and sat down next to me, and she said…"

_"Good heavens, child. Surely it's not as bad as all that?" Spencer jerked her head up, her red eyes landing on the old woman who had just sat down beside her._

_"What?" the blonde girl sniffled, wiping a hand hastily across her wet face._

_"That's your little girl over there, isn't it?" The white-haired old lady pointed to where Audrey stood, happily talking to a small flock of ducks beside a tree._

_"Yes," Spencer said croakily, her voice strained from crying._

_"Well, how bad can it be, with a perfect little jewel of a child like that?" Spencer smiled fleetingly at the stranger's compliment. Then fresh tears welled up in her eyes, and she put her head in her hands._

_"That's just it…I want things to be better for her, I can't stand for my mother to keep making her feel guilty for the crime of being born. But my brother is gone and my dad left us and there just isn't anyone else…and I have to grown up, I have to be the mom, I have to get us out of here…I just…don't know how!" Spencer squeezed her eyes shut as more tears spilled down her face, which she hastily wiped away. "Dammit," she whispered. The old woman said nothing for a long moment. Spencer wasn't sure whether she would say anything at all, and figured it probably didn't matter much either way. What was there to say?_

_"Would you like to know why I'm here today? In the Commons?"_

_"Um…okay," Spencer shrugged._

_"Today…would have been my fiftieth wedding anniversary with my late husband. This bench where we're sitting is the very place he proposed, can you imagine? So I came here…to be with him."_

_"Oh," Spencer said softly. "Oh, I'm so sorry…" she sniffed and wiped her nose on her hand. "I'll let you have some privacy here."_

_"Don't be silly." The old woman wrapped a hand firmly around Spencer's wrist, pulling her back down. "If Leonard looked down from heaven and saw me shooing away a young mother in distress, why, he'd find a way to come back down here and give me a good, swift kick in the pants!" Spencer laughed, and smiled an exhausted, appreciative smile._

_"I'm Spencer Carlin…and that's my daughter Audrey." _

"_Mimi Katz." _

"_It's very nice to meet you."_

"_Likewise," Mimi said graciously, giving Spencer's hand a surprisingly firm shake. "So tell me, Spencer Carlin—do you believe that everything happens for a reason?"_

"…So she basically just asked me and Audrey to come live with her in Northampton. Her two sons are both dead, one in Vietnam and the other in a car crash."

"Oh god…" Ashley pressed a hand to her mouth in horror. She knew what it was like to lose someone you love so suddenly.

"Yeah," Spencer sighed. "And neither of them had any kids. So ever since her husband passed away three years ago, she's been completely alone. And, you know. The idea of moving into some complete stranger's house was…insane. But our life was already so fucked up, I figured it could only be an improvement…and at least it would be a change of scenery." She smiled wistfully.

"Speaking of which…" Ashley turned off the small road, into a dirt lot. They were, as they had been for the last half hour, in the middle of the woods. "We're here."

"We're where?" Spencer asked, perplexed. Ashley just grinned and got out of the car, waiting patiently for Spencer to come to her senses and follow her. When she finally did, Ashley led them both down a narrow dirt path, where a beautiful old mill came into view. The river streaming by was frothing and glinting merrily, and the water that got trapped in the huge revolving wheel made it turn lazily against the side of the large red barn. "Holy…whoa," Spencer gaped incredulously. "I'm sorry, what American folktale have we just wandered into?" Ashley grinned at Spencer's dumbstruck expression.

"This place was built in 1842, and it was a working gristmill for over a hundred years. Now it's mostly a used bookstore, but there's also a little restaurant. The food is seriously amazing. Wait till you taste the Heart of Darkness chocolate torte."

"Oh my freaking God," Spencer murmured, shaking her head. The fields on the other side of the river were wild grass, covered with small purple flowers. "This place is soooooo cool."

"Yeah," Ashley agreed, smiling softly. "I thought you'd appreciate it." Reaching out, she took Spencer's hand and tugged the dazed-looking girl the rest of the way down the hill.

"Davies, for 7:30," Ashley said quietly to the hostess. _She made reservations,_ Spencer thought bemusedly. _When did she have time to make reservations? We only decided to go out to dinner this morning_. She happily followed the hostess to an outdoor table, where their view of the river and the gently fluttering flowers all around was panoramic. Spencer beamed at Ashley, who was looking a little twitchy and staring determinedly at her fork.

"What, are you nervous? Doesn't this place work its magic on all the girls?" Spencer teased. She stopped short when she saw the intense look in the other girl's dark eyes.

"Spencer, I've never brought anyone here before."

"Are you kidding?" Spencer gaped, knowing she wasn't. "How is that possible?"

"I told you. I don't date. I pick girls up in bars and have anonymous sex in strange places." Ashley leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, in a would-be casual pose. "Sometimes without even knowing their names. I _don't_ bring girls flowers, and I don't make reservations at fancy restaurants. And even if I did, I still wouldn't bring them here."

"How come?" Spencer asked softly, reaching out to lightly stroke the back of Ashley's hand.

"Because…this was my special place with my dad. When I was growing up, and we spent our summers out here, my dad and I would come here with a picnic lunch and spend the whole afternoon wandering around the Book Mill, just reading and exploring and walking in the woods. It's one of my favorite places in the whole world." Spencer was speechless. She knew there was more to Ashley than good looks and charm; but the open, vulnerable expression in the dark eyes across from her was completely unexpected. She took Ashley's hand in both of hers, and kissed her palm.

"Well now it's one of my favorite places, too."


	7. Chapter 7

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 7**

**By JewWitch**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

After dinner, which Ashley insisted on paying for since it was her idea to take Spencer to an expensive restaurant (and promising to let Spencer cook for her next time), they wandered down to the edge of the river, where there was plenty of pearly light from the full moon to help guide their steps. It was warm for September, and they found a nice spot by the water where they could lie on their backs in the cool grass, side by side, gazing up at the moon and listening to the bubbling and rushing of the river as it meandered past them. This tranquility lasted about five minutes, before Spencer rolled on top of Ashley and kissed her deeply.

"Thought you wanted to take it slow," Ashley gasped when she finally came up for air.

"Yeah, well…not nunnery-slow," Spencer grinned, nuzzling into Ashley's hair and nibbling her earlobe.

"Holy…Jesus…you are gonna be the absolute death of me, Spencer Carlin," Ashley groaned, enjoying the feel of Spencer's giggles against her skin, until she arched up against the blonde, pushing her thigh between Spencer's legs with just the right amount of pressure to turn those giggles into a throaty moan of longing. Ashley slipped her hands under the waistband of Spencer's skirt, pulling her down by the small of her back, and Spencer pushed back, hard, grinding Ashley into the cool grass and kissing her neck like it was made of chocolate. The smell of Spencer's hair was enveloping Ashley, sweet and fresh and vaguely musky, like cherry blossoms in bloom. The delicious jolt of Spencer's teeth raking over her pulse point brought Ashley back from her momentary reverie, and she shrieked in painful pleasure, arching up even harder against Spencer's hips.

"I want to devour you," Spencer whispered huskily in Ashley's ear, resting lightly on her elbows with both hands buried deep in the dark girl's hair.

"Well cover me in syrup and grab a spoon," Ashley smirked, running her hands up Spencer's sides under her shirt. When she came to the back of Spencer's lacy bra, her hands stilled, gently caressing the smooth skin under the straps with her thumbs. "Can I?" Ashley asked gently.

"Uh-huh," Spencer nodded breathlessly, ducking down to press her mouth to Ashley's while she felt the hook of her bra being unsnapped, and the material fall loosely away. They were both trying hard not to rush, to draw out every moment of pleasure and discovery they had together. Instead of pushing Spencer back and ripping her shirt off, Ashley just let her hands graze over the silky skin above her, tracing her fingertips over the sides of Spencer's pert breasts while Spencer sucked on her bottom lip, running her tongue over it, nibbling it lightly between her teeth. Ashley ran her hands all the way up Spencer's back, pulling her down by the back of her neck for another deep kiss. She was totally unprepared for the sudden jolt that ran through Spencer's body when a loud trilling noise came from her back pocket, making her jerk back suddenly with Spencer's bottom lip between her teeth.

"Ow!" Spencer squealed, her hand going to her mouth with a pained expression of surprise.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry, baby. Did I hurt you?" Ashley leaned up on one elbow, trying to pull Spencer's hand away so she could peer into the mouth she'd just been exploring.

"It's okay. It was my fault." Spencer slipped sideways off Ashley and reached into her back pocket, pulling out the little phone that had startled her in the first place.

"Aw, Spence, don't answer it," Ashley pouted, her body still thrumming with need. She slipped her hand up Spencer's leg, trailing teasing patterns over her thigh. Spencer frowned at her, a little crease appearing between her eyes. Ashley noticed that there was blood oozing from her lip.

"I have to answer, Ash, it's probably Mimi. It could be about Audrey." She flipped the phone open as she spoke, effectively tuning out the sullen brunette lying beside her. "Hello? Yes, this is Spencer Carlin…yes, that's right. Wait, _what?_ She—is she going to be alright? Where's my daughter?" Spencer sat bolt upright in the grass, her blue eyes wide in the moonlight. Ashley sat up, too, alarmed by the sudden change in Spencer's body language as much as her last question. She reached out to squeeze Spencer's leg, wanting to reassure her, but Spencer batted her hand away. "Oh my God. I'll be right there, okay? Will you please tell my daughter I'll be right there?" She flipped her phone shut, and stared at Ashley with a blank, shell-shocked look in her eyes. Coupled with the smear of blood across her bottom lip, it was downright alarming.

"Spencer, what is it? What happened?" Ashley's brain was racing furiously through every horrible thing that could possibly have happened to Audrey in the few short hours they'd been gone.

"Can you take me to the hospital?"

"Of course," Ashley nodded breathlessly, still a step behind Spencer, who was already scrambling to her feet and reaching around to fix her bra. "Spencer, please! What happened?"

"I—I don't know," Spencer shook her head, turning around in a hasty circle to find where she'd flung her purse on the ground. "Mimi—she collapsed, or she fell—I don't know what happened. Audrey's with her. They're at Cooley Dickinson Hospital."

"I know where that's at, Spence. I'll take you there. Okay?" Ashley reached out for Spencer's hand again, and this time Spencer didn't try to push her away.

They drove in silence, the return trip seeming to take much longer than the drive out had. Why had Ashley picked someplace so far from town? Every second that Audrey spent alone in the hospital waiting room, surrounded by strangers, was her fault. She pressed down harder on the gas petal as they crested the top of another low hill, and felt Spencer's hand snake over to her knee, her touch immediately calming the frenetic pounding in Ashley's chest.

"Ash, slow down. We need to get there in one piece."

"Sorry," Ashley mumbled, easing off the gas without glancing over at the blonde.

"Are you mad?" Spencer asked hesitantly.

"What? Of course not," Ashley frowned, the tense line of her shoulders finally relaxing slightly as she looked over at the frightened girl beside her. "Why on earth would I be mad?"

"I dunno," Spencer shrugged, looking down at her knees. "Cause we were in the middle of…you know…and now our night is ruined, and you have to take me to the hospital, and"—

"Hey, stop it." Ashley cut off Spencer's rant. "This isn't your fault, Spencer. We've got plenty of time for dates and…fun stuff." They shared a shy smile, and Ashley was sure she saw Spencer blush in the moonlight. "Right now your family needs you, and nothing's more important than that. I'm here for you, Spence. Whatever you need, I want to be the one to give it to you." Spencer's self-conscious smirk made Ashley realize how dirty that had sounded, and suddenly she became uncharacteristically tongue-tied. "I mean—I, um, well, driving you to the hospital, I meant. It's the least I can do."

"Okay," Spencer nodded, with a deep, calming breath. "Thank you."

"Sure."

"…Ashley?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"Before we…I mean, when we were…before we got interrupted…" She glanced sideways at the dark-haired girl beside her, who was now grinning knowingly out at the moonlight highway. "Was it—was I—any good?"

"The fact that you can even _ask _that question means you obviously have no idea just how good you are, Spence. You totally rocked my world."

"Really?" Spencer grinned hugely.

"Yeah, well, don't get _too_ cocky about it. I'm pretty sure I was rockin' your world, too."

"Well, duh." They looked at each other across the seat at the same time, and both of them blushed.

When they arrived at the hospital, Ashley didn't even bother finding a real parking spot, but abandoned her Porsche in the loading zone by the emergency room entrance. They both sprinted to the closest reception desk, where a very patient nurse managed to get all the information she needed from Spencer to tell her where she could find her daughter and grandmother. Spencer didn't correct her, a deep uneasiness settling over both of them as they realized that, legally, they might not have any right to be there at all.

They went to the family waiting room first, where Audrey sat in her footie pajamas, playing sedately with a pile of Leggos. As soon as she looked up and saw Spencer, she burst into tears.

"Mama!" she sobbed, flinging herself on Spencer's legs and latching on tight. "Nana Mimi falled down and she wouldn't wake up! I didn't know what to do!" Spencer picked her up and hugged her tight, murmuring words of assurance and love. Ashley just stood back awkwardly by the doorway, afraid to intrude on the private moment between mother and daughter.

"You did just right, baby," Spencer murmured, rocking the distraught little girl in her arms. "I'm so proud of you. You remembered to call 911, and you know what? If you hadn't been there to help, nobody would have even known what happened."

"I was scared," Audrey sniffled, her sobs quieting, but still clinging ferociously to Spencer's neck, as if afraid she might disappear.

"I know you were, hon. I was, too. But I'm here now, and you don't have to be scared anymore." Audrey finally lifted her face from Spencer's hair, and noticed Ashley standing in the corner. She detached one of her arms from around Spencer's neck, and reached out for the dark-haired girl, blinking her teary blue eyes wordlessly. Not needing any more encouragement, Ashley crossed the room in three long strides and wrapped her arms around them both, kissing the top of Audrey's head.

"Hey sweetie," she murmured, leaning her head against Spencer's. "You were a very brave girl tonight."

"Did you bring my surprise?" Audrey sniffed. Not expecting this question, Ashley and Spencer both snickered, and looked at each other in a _well, I guess she's not that traumatized after all_ sort of way.

"You know what, Audrey, we were so worried about you and Nana Mimi after the doctor called us, we weren't thinking about anything except getting here as fast as we could. But how about if you and I take a trip to the toy store tomorrow, and pick out something special?"

"Okay," Audrey yawned, resting her head limply back against Spencer's shoulder, and closing her eyes. It was past 11 by now, and the surge of terrified adrenalin that had kept the little girl going since she'd dialed 911 was obviously draining away. Spencer held her daughter tightly, running one hand through her soft baby hair until her breathing evened out in sleep.

"We have to find out what's going on with Mimi," the blonde girl murmured in a hushed, urgent undertone. "Did you see if we passed the surgery reception desk?"

"No, it's two more floors up. C'mon, we'll find it." She wanted to take Spencer's hand, to reassure her, but both were occupied by the child currently snoozing in her arms. Instead, Ashley slipped her hand down to Spencer's lower back, sure she heard a soft little sigh as she guided Spencer out into the hall.

They'd been sitting in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs for close to an hour before anyone came through the swinging glass-fronted doors that lead to the surgical suites. The doctor who approached them was older, with a graying beard and kind brown eyes. He looked from Audrey, asleep across two chairs, to the two young women in front of him.

"Ms. Carlin?" He said to Ashley.

"I'm Spencer Carlin," the blonde girl interjected anxiously, springing to her feet.

"And your relationship to Mrs. Katz is--?" Spencer blinked, opened her mouth, then closed it again.

"Well, I, uh…my daughter and I live with her. Is she going to be alright?"

"So you're not actually family?"

"Please, tell me what's going on. We're not related by blood, but she took us in, she _made_ us a family. I can't just leave without knowing…"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Carlin. But"—

"Jesus, what's your problem, buddy? Can't you just tell her what you're doing back there to save an old woman's life?" Ashley demanded, glaring daggers at the doctor, whose eyes weren't looking quite so kindly anymore.

"I'm very sorry, miss, but hospital policy clearly mandates that I must release her information to her next of kin first."

"She doesn't have any."

"Oh." The doctor blinked. "Well then, I…well. Mrs. Katz suffered an ischemic stroke at approximately 9:35 this evening."

"Iss-_what?"_ Spencer interrupted, bewildered.

"Ischemic. It means that a blood clot caused a temporary blockage of blood to her brain. If you're going to have a stroke, it's the best kind to have, because it means there isn't any bleeding in the brain, so there's often less damage. However, we did need to operate to remove the plaque buildup in the artery; or it could happen again tomorrow."

"So—she's okay?" Spencer asked hesitantly.

"She's not out of the woods yet. If the surgery goes well, she'll be in recovery sometime tomorrow morning; but we still won't really know anything until she wakes up. There are a variety of possibilities in terms of after-effects, but there's no need to cross that bridge quite yet. She'll definitely require rehabilitation, in any case." Ashley noticed that Spencer's breathing was getting a little shallow, and her face had gone ashen.

"Sit," Ashley said firmly, grabbing one of Spencer's wrists and pulling her down into a chair. The bearded doctor stayed standing. "So, Dr…?" Ashley cocked her head pointedly.

"Pulaski." He finally offered his hand to them both.

"Dr. Pulaski. What can we do for her, right now?"

"Right now?" He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "Go home. Get some sleep. We won't know anything more tonight." Spencer nodded numbly, and Ashley snaked out a hand and squeezed her knee.

"Thanks, Dr. Pulaski," Ashley said awkwardly, giving him a nod.

"Yes…thank you, doctor," Spencer added hastily, snapping out of her daze. After he'd left the room, they both looked over at where Audrey lay, peacefully sleeping through it all.

"He thought she was yours," Spencer said quietly. Ashley didn't have to ask her what she was talking about. And though it had given her a momentary rush of warmth, she now found herself stammering anxiously.

"He only saw the top of her head, Spence. If he'd seen her face—her eyes"—

"I like how she kind of looks like you," Spencer said quietly. She lifted her head, a sad, half-smile on her face. "Ash…what am I gonna do?" The brunette wrapped her arms around the shaking blonde, holding her fiercely.

"It's okay Spencer, you're not alone…I promise you. We _will_ figure this out."

"There's just so much…" Spencer's voice wobbled, and she looked up at the ceiling, willing the tears not to fall. "I don't even know what her insurance carrier is…how can I not know that? She's a seventy-two-year-old woman, for God's sake!"

"We'll find it," Ashley assured her, squeezing her hand. "But not tonight, baby. Come on, I'm taking you and the munchkin home."

"But the doctor said she'll need rehab…what if her insurance won't cover it? How will I pay for her care? And oh God, what will I do with Audrey now? I can't even afford to send her to daycare!" She blinked, and the tears welling up in her eyes finally spilled over.

"Spencer, baby, please. Don't worry about any of this right now. I can cover Mimi's bills, it's no problem, _believe_ me. And as for Audrey, money's no object. She can go anywhere you want, she can go to nursery school with Melina, or you could get a private nanny. It's all going to be okay, I swear."

"What?" Spencer gaped at Ashley, an outraged expression on her tearstained face. "Are you insane? You can't just swoop in and sugar-mama all my problems away." Ashley frowned.

"That's not what I'm doing, I just…look, I have money, Spence. A lot of money. I don't need it. You do. There isn't much I can do to help here, but I can do this."

"Oh, okay, I take it back then, you're obviously not insane at all. You just want to own my ass for the rest of my natural born life."

"Goddamit, no! You're twisting it all around"—

"Please Ash, I can't handle this right now. Can we please, please not have this conversation now?" Spencer rubbed her red eyes, and Ashley's flash of anger melted away, leaving behind only a slight ache in the center of her chest.

"Can I take you home now?" She countered gently.

"Please," Spencer nodded.


	8. Chapter 8

Hey peeps!

sorry this chap is slightly on the short side; I figure a shorter chap today is better than a longer one next week! (plus, seemed like a lot of people were mad at spencer at the end of the last chap...had to give her a chance to explain herself). thanks for reading!

--JW

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 8**

**By JewWitch**

……………………………………………………………………………………...............................................................................................………

"Spence?" Ashley asked quietly as they left the hospital. "Do you think you could drive? I feel…kind of…exhausted, all of a sudden."

"Sure, baby." Spencer passed off her sleeping daughter in exchange for the keys. "Thanks for everything you did tonight…you were my knight in shining armor." Ashley grinned shyly back, but said nothing. Once they were all settled in their seats, the blonde girl turned, trailed her fingers over Ashley's cheek, and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"What was that for?" Ashley asked, blinking bemusedly.

"Just for being you," Spencer said softly, leaning back against her seat with a small sigh. "I'm sorry I snapped at you before, Ash. I know you were just trying to help."

"Of course I was," Ashley nodded, still looking confused.

"It's just…taking it slow doesn't just mean not having sex right away. This is one of those big relationship things, you know? Getting our financial arrangements all mixed up together is a big step, and I don't want to rush into something we're not ready for, just out of some sense of obligation."

"But Spence, it doesn't have to be as complicated as you're making it. I have $25 million dollars just sitting around collecting interest, did you know that?" Spencer just shook her head, but her eyes widened in shock when she heard the figure. "So I give some to you. Big deal. I won't even notice the difference." Spencer sighed, and started the car, pulling out onto the road. It was past one am, and the small town was all stillness and silence. Even the crickets were asleep.

"Okay, Ash, just for the sake of argument, let's follow this idea through to the end. Say I do get Audrey a nanny, and I let you pay for it. What happens if we break up in two or three or six months? Are you gonna keep paying? Are you gonna send us child support? Are you gonna expect visitation rights in exchange?"

"Jeez. You think we'll be sick of each other that soon?" Ashley asked, avoiding the practical questions. She was still holding Audrey, fast asleep in her lap, as the Porsche had no back seat. She stroked the little girl's silky brown hair absentmindedly.

"No, Ashley, I don't think we're gonna get sick of each other," Spencer sighed, a small smile playing over her lips. "But nobody thinks that when they first get together. I have a kid here, I have to think in the long-term, not just from one day to the next. And besides, I did promise to teach you about relationships, didn't I?"

"I just don't see how me helping you get what you need is bad for our relationship," Ashley grumbled petulantly. Spencer said nothing for a few moments, then glanced over at the picture the two brunettes made in the seat beside her.

"How can you be so rough and wild on the outside…and so sweet and innocent on the inside?" She asked softly, laying her hand briefly over Ashley's.

"What if I just gave you a big chunk of money all at once? No strings. Then you wouldn't have to worry about the future, and it wouldn't have to interfere with our relationship, either. I could even sign something saying you can keep it even if we break up." Spencer laughed and rolled her eyes, not unkindly, as she pulled into her driveway.

"Let's not worry about it tonight," she said quietly, cutting off the engine and turning toward the brunette in her seat. "I just want to be close to you right now, and not think about anything else. Is that okay, baby?"

"That's definitely okay," Ashley nodded, the anxious humming in her chest finally relaxing its grip on her pounding heart as Spencer's lips lightly pressed her own. Still holding the sleeping child in her arms, Ashley slipped out of her seat and followed Spencer into the dark house.

"Mommy…" Audrey murmured dazedly when Ashley put her down in her bed, opening her sleep-glazed blue eyes briefly as the covers were pulled up around her. Then they closed again, her small body limp with the deep, impenetrable sleep of children. Ashley leaned over her and kissed her forehead, all the confusion and sadness inside her lifting away for a moment.

"Sweet dreams, baby bug," she whispered, closing her eyes. She sensed Spencer's presence in the doorway before she opened them again, the light from the hall framing her blonde hair like a halo. Ashley crossed the room and wrapped Spencer up in her arms without speaking, kissing her deeply.

"She go down okay?" Spencer asked quietly when her lips were able to form words again.

"Yeah," Ashley smiled wistfully. "She woke up for a second when I put her in bed, but she went right back out again. She was so out of it, I think she just thought I was you. She called me Mommy." Spencer blinked, and cocked her head to the side.

"Ash, Audrey has never once called me Mommy." The looked at each other for a moment, Ashley's wistful smile turning to blank disbelief. "Does that scare you?" Spencer asked quietly, bracing herself for a freak-out.

"Spencer, of all the things that have happened tonight…this is about the _least _scary of all."

The two girls climbed into bed together the same as they had the night before, in their t-shirts and underwear. Spencer noticed Ashley pressing a hand to her forehead as she sat on the edge of the bed; then she closed her eyes, and sighed wearily.

"You okay, baby?" Spencer asked gently, scooting over and brushing Ashley's bangs back from her face.

"Yeah. Just a headache."

"C'mere," Spencer murmured, gently tugging Ashley's hand away from her forehead, and replacing it with her own. She pressed gently with her fingertips, rubbing the dark girl's temples in slow, methodical circles. Then she slipped her hands further down, and rubbed the tight muscles in Ashley's neck.

"Ohhhh wow, that feels good, Spence…" Ashley sighed, eyes still closed, going limp under the blonde girl's hands. She flopped down bonelessly on the pillows, bringing Spencer along for the ride, now rubbing light circles over Ashley's forehead.

"See, this is another one of those things that girlfriends do," Spencer murmured, snuggling up closer to the warm body beside her, and kissing her ear. "So pay attention, in case I need you to do me sometime."

"I'll do you anytime, blondie," Ashley murmured huskily, in a sleepy but still suggestive voice that made Spencer grin and blush against the pillows. She kept up her light massage for another minute, before the heavy blanket of sleep descended, and they both slipped away under it.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

They both went back to the hospital the next day, with a grouchy Audrey in tow. The little girl was not anxious to revisit the place where she'd been so frightened and alone, only agreeing grudgingly when Spencer promised they wouldn't stay long. The day nurse told them that Mimi was out of surgery, but still hadn't woken up; meaning they still didn't know how successful the procedure had been. Spencer didn't want to leave until she knew for sure whether Mimi was going to be alright; but Audrey started to have a meltdown after they'd been in the waiting room about an hour, shrieking and stamping her feet until her little face turned red.

"Let me take her, Spence," Ashley said firmly, taking one of Spencer's hands a gently squeezing it. "I'll take her to my place for lunch, then we can pick Melina up from preschool and go to the playground. And you can be here for Mimi. Okay?"

"Okay," Spencer nodded, with an uneasy sigh. "I just hate this suspense, not knowing what's going to happen…I wish _I_ could stamp my feet and scream, you know?" She tilted her head to the side and flashed a small, sad grin, sending a surge of protectiveness through Ashley.

"You're doing so great, baby," she murmured, taking Spencer's face in both hands and kissing her. "Promise me you'll eat something after we go, okay? Even if it's just a bag of chips from the vending machine."

"Yes, dear," Spencer smirked.

The rest of the day passed agonizingly slowly for Spencer; each time a doctor approached her, she got a huge adrenalin rush, as her body attempted to brace itself for news, good or bad. But every time, it was the same answer: no change. The continuous build up and let-down was beginning to make Spencer feel incredibly drained. Finally, she decided to go outside for a little fresh air, realizing she hadn't been out of the cramped waiting room for hours. The moment she stepped out through the hospital doors, she felt better; the air was so fresh and mild, full of the scent of crisp fall leaves. The sun was beginning to set, reminding Spencer that she hadn't had anything to eat all day. She sighed, torn between her sense of duty to the old woman who had taken her in when no one else would; and a similar sense of duty to her daughter, and to Ashley, both waiting for her outside the hospital, where the world continued to turn. She stretched, and sat on a bench beside the main entrance, staring at her feet. At that moment, her cell phone chirped in her pocket, signaling the arrival of a text message. Spencer pulled the phone out and flipped it open, reading the message from Ashley: _we r at my place w/ mel & chels. making r own pizza! then sleepover 4 kids if ok w/ u. comin 2 join us??_

Spencer smiled, her first real smile of the day, and jotted a quick reply: _yes, yes, YES. on my way!_


	9. Chapter 9

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 9**

**By JewWitch**

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Spencer rang the buzzer for Chelsea's apartment; but it was Ashley who answered, her famous crinkle-nosed grin accentuated by a powdery smudge of flour across her cheek. Spencer wanted to smile back; but the happiness that welled up inside her at the sight of Ashley's face brought along all the other emotions she'd been bottling up all day, and as much as she tried to stop it, she felt tears sliding down her cheeks instead.

"It's okay," Ashley murmured, pulled Spencer's shaking body tightly against her own, while Spencer cried herself out on Ashley's shoulder. After a few minutes, Spencer took a deep breath, and pulled back a little to wipe her face.

"Whoa, thanks…I really needed that," Spencer admitted croakily, rubbing her eyes and giving Ashley a watery smile. Ashley just smiled serenely back, and kissed the end of Spencer's nose.

"I know," she nodded. "Ready to go in now?"

"Not quite…" Spencer tilted her head to one side, regarding Ashley with an unnervingly innocent, puppy-dog expression, which the brunette had already figured out wasn't innocent at all. Then a devious smirk broke over the blonde girl's face, and she grabbed Ashley by the back of her neck, kissing her soundly. They both sighed, their bodies naturally leaning into each other, all the tension draining from their muscles.

"Sha_zam_," Ashley mumbled, blinking dazedly when they finally pulled apart. "I'm not _ever_ gonna get tired of that."

"Good to know," Spencer smirked, a little breathless and pink-faced. "C'mon." They walked into Chelsea's apartment hand-in-hand, where Spencer found a scene of domestic bliss in progress. The first thing she noticed was the delicious smell coming from the oven; then the heart-warming sight of the two little girls helping Chelsea set the table, trailing importantly behind her with forks and napkins, and looking as if a royal court would soon be enjoying these place settings. As soon as Audrey looked up and saw Spencer, however, she dropped the rest of the napkins in a pile and ran to her, leaping up into her arms with the confidence that she would be caught.

"Mama, come look! We made a pizza face!"

"A what?" Spencer chuckled, putting Audrey down so she could lead her to the oven, from which the tantalizing smells were emanating. She pressed the little button that made the oven light come on, and leaned down to peer inside; where sure enough sat bubbling a smiling, pepperoni-faced pizza, with green peppers for eyebrows, black olive slices for pupils, and a mushroom for a nose.

"Chelsea showed us how to do it," Audrey explained proudly. "Isn't in the happiest pizza you ever saw?"

"It sure is, baby," Spencer grinned hugely, wrapping both arms around her squirming daughter and kissing her rosy little cheek.

"Good to see you again, Spence," Chelsea said, coming over and giving Spencer's shoulder a squeeze on her way to the sink. "I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Yeah, me too," Spencer nodded, her smile going a little melancholy.

"Is Nana Mimi all better now?" Audrey asked innocently, wriggling out of her mother's arms to go back to her all-important napkin folding.

"No, honey," Spencer sighed, feeling the warmth of Ashley's presence even before an arm went around her waist. "It's going to be a long time before Nana Mimi gets better." Casting around for a way to divert her daughter from asking any more serious questions—at least for now—she quickly added, "So what's this I hear about a sleepover?"

"Oh please Mama, can I can I can I? Chelsea said it's okay, and they have an extra sleeping bag, and Melly has the most blocks _ever_ and we're building them into a castle for our ponies, and it's not done yet, and, and…and we _have_ to finish it!"

"Okay, hon, I hear you. It's okay with me. But you've never had a sleepover before; are you sure you want to stay the _whole_ night?"

"Yes Mama, yes! The whole night!" Audrey squealed, bouncing urgently up and down with her hands wrung together.

"Okay, sugarsnap. You got yourself a sleepover."

"Thank you!" Audrey squealed, hugging Spencer knees and then darting off after Melina, presumably to the legendary castle-of-many-blocks that lay waiting.

"Damn, that's a nice sound," Chelsea grinned, nodding her head toward the laughter now echoing from Melina's room. "Now let's have ourselves a little grownup fun before dinner." She pulled a bottle of red wine from a side cabinet, and held it out for their inspection. "Spencer? Are you a wine drinker?"

"Um, I never really have before," Spencer shrugged, "but I'll try it."

"This is some good stuff, Spence. Trust me, you'll love it." Ashley wound her arm around Spencer's hip as she spoke, slipping a couple of fingers under the waistband of her jeans.

"Hmm, if you say so…" Spencer murmured lazily, leaning into Ashley's arm and tilting her head up. Ashley got the message, and tilted her own head down to meet Spencer's lips for a soft kiss.

"Aw, snap! I thought it would be at least another 20 years before I'd see you this whipped, Ash," Chelsea laughed, a huge grin plastered to her face. Spencer blushed and ducked her head against Ashley's shoulder.

"Well it turns out that being whipped can actually be completely awesome, if you happen to have a Carlin girl on hand to do the whipping." Ashley tightened her grip on Spencer as she spoke, slipping her fingers a little further down the skin of the blonde girl's hip, then raking them lightly back up.

"Um…how about that pizza face," Spencer mumbled awkwardly, obviously uncomfortable being the center of attention. Ashley kissed her ear, and went to pour them all a glass of wine. Spencer took hers and sniffed it cautiously. It smelled sharp and musky, and a little fruity.

"To a long and happy friendship for our girls," Chelsea said, holding her glass aloft.

"And their moms," Spencer added, smiling more easily now that everyone's eyes weren't on her. They all clinked their glasses, and Spencer took a very small sip of her wine, unsure whether she was going to like it. The flavor was strong, and tasted nothing like the grapes it was made from as far as Spencer was concerned. Still, there was something nice about it…especially the warm feeling it gave her when it hit her stomach. She turned to Ashley and said firmly, "I like it, but I don't wanna get plastered or anything. If I start laughing hysterically for no good reason, or if my cheeks get really red, take it away from me, okay?"

"Gotcha, Boozy McBoozerson."

"Thank you," Spencer said politely while smacking Ashley on the shoulder.

After dinner, in which the adults barely got in a word edgewise anyway, the kids sat and colored on the living room floor while Spencer, Ashley and Chelsea finished off the bottle of wine. Spencer only took half a glass the second time around, feeling a little warm already from the first. They managed fifteen or twenty minutes of actual, grownup conversation about art and the local music scene, before Melina raced over and asked Ashley to do "sing time," pointing to an acoustic guitar propped in the corner of the living room. Spencer knew that Ashley had a gorgeous voice, from the other night when she'd sung Audrey to sleep; but she was still a little surprised to see her girlfriend pick up the guitar, and begin tuning it like a seasoned pro. For the next half hour, Ashley sang every song that Melina and Audrey requested, from kids' stuff to old folk tunes, to some that Spencer had never heard, making her wonder if they were Ashley's own work. Her suspicions that her girlfriend was, in fact, harboring a secret talent for songwriting was confirmed when Melina begged her, "Sing my song, Auntie Ashley." With an easy grin and a wink for the delighted child, Ashley broke into a song that she had clearly written for Melina when she was a baby.

When it was over, Audrey immediately piped up, "Will you write one for me, Ashley?"

"No, she won't," Melina informed her, crossing her small arms with a territorial glare. "She's not _your_ auntie."

"Melina! Don't talk to your guest like that. You are not the only person in this world who Auntie Ashley can love, you know." Chelsea leveled her daughter with a classic I-dare-you-to-try-it-again look, and Melina hastily averted her eyes to her feet.

"Sorry, Audrey," she mumbled, in a voice that didn't sound one-hundred-percent sorry.

"That's okay," Audrey said, in a voice that _did_ sound one-hundred percent okay. "Come on, let's go put our ponies to sleep in the castle."

"Okay!" Melina beamed at her friend, now that she knew she was forgiven. They grabbed each other's hands and bolted from the room at top speed.

"That was easy," Ashley observed sardonically, putting the guitar back in the corner and rejoining Spencer on the couch. "If you're as forgiving as she is, I've got nothing to worry about, after all."

"Ha-ha." Spencer stuck out her tongue. "You're just gloating 'cause you're the one that all the girls fight over."

"What can I say? Animal magnetism," Ashley shrugged, a completely deadpan expression on her face.

"If the animal is Puff the Magic Dragon," Chelsea agreed wryly from the pappazzan chair. Ashley cocked her head, eyes narrowed predatorily at her friend.

"If you weren't sitting on a white chair with a glass of red wine in your hand, you would _so_ have a couch cushion in your face right now."

"I know," Chelsea nodded cheerfully.

Soon it was time for the kids to get ready for bed; and even though she never came out and said so, Ashley could tell that Spencer wanted to stay until they were asleep. Once they had been tucked in, read to, sang to and kissed by all three grown-ups, the garbled rise and fall of their little voices lasted only a few minutes before exhaustion took over. After ten minutes where no noise could be detected floating down the hall, Ashley yawned, stretched, and glanced over at an equally sleepy-looking Spencer. "Shall we?"

"Mmm…" Spencer yawned, too. "We shall." Ashley stood first, and offered Spencer her hand; but the blonde just blinked up at her with a pouty, beseeching sort of expression in her heavy blue eyes. "Carry me?" Ashley snorted.

"Not if you value your spinal column, babe. Don't know if you've noticed; but we're pretty much exactly the same size. One of the occupational hazards of dykedom."

"Yeah," Spencer agreed mulishly. "I was just hoping you had some secret girl-power superpowers…like Buffy. Or Xena. But with better outfits, obviously."

"C'mon, baby," Ashley snickered, reaching out for both of Spencer's hands this time, and pulling her to her feet. "I can't carry you, but you can lean on me. How's that?"

"Mmm. Good," Spencer nodded, leaning into Ashley's shoulder and letting her eyes half-close. Ashley wondered if she should've given Spencer the second glass of wine, even if it was only a small one. She seemed like an awful lightweight. "'Night, Chelsea," Spencer mumbled through another yawn. "Thanks for the pizza face."

"You're welcome, Spence. See you tomorrow, okay?"

"'Kay."

"Night, Chels," Ashley grinned, unable to detach herself from Spencer to give her friend a goodnight hug. "Thanks for tonight. We'll see you in the morning."

"Ashley." Chelsea put a hand on her upper arm to stop her before she could leave. Ashley blinked inquisitively. "What you've got going here with Spencer and Audrey, it's…I mean, it's great, but"—Chelsea stammered a little uncertainly.

"But what?" Ashley prodded, with a spit-it-out-already look in her dark brown eyes.

"I just want to make sure you're for real, here. Cause I've never seen you act like this before, and if it's just some random experiment for you…like, hey, let's see what it's like to be in a real relationship"—

"That is _not_ what this is," Ashley snapped coldly, the tone of her voice jerking Spencer out of her light doze on Ashley's arm.

"Oh, hey," Spencer giggled, standing up straight and rubbing her slightly red eyes with an embarrassed grin. "I totally zonked out on you there, Ash! Sorry." She leaned over and kissed Ashley lightly on the cheek, gave Chelsea another warm smile, and one last "goodnight" before she turned and walked out the door. Ashley lingered momentarily behind, giving her oldest friend a serious, searching look.

"I'm not goofing around here, Chels. I love her, okay? And that's fucking scary enough without you over here thinking I'm the kind of person who would mess around with a single teenage mom and her kid just for kicks."

"Jesus, you're right, Ash. I'm sorry." Chelsea pulled Ashley into her and gave her a tight squeeze. "You didn't deserve that question, okay? That was my stuff, not yours."

"I kinda deserved it," Ashley shrugged, cracking a smile to show that all was forgiven.

When she got outside to the car where Spencer was waiting, half-asleep, in the passenger seat, Ashley immediately felt a surge of contentment well up inside her. It was, until recently, an extremely unfamiliar feeling. She slipped into the car and closed the door as lightly as she could, trying not to jostle the girl beside her. But Spencer wasn't really asleep; as soon as she felt Ashley's weight in the seat, she rolled toward the brunette, opened her eyes, and smiled.

"Hey, baby," Ashley grinned, reaching out and smoothing Spencer's soft blonde hair back. "So, since you're kind of a free agent tonight, wanna come back to my place?" Spencer quirked an eyebrow, and Ashley hastily backpedaled. "I didn't mean—we don't have to, you know, do anything; I know you're sleepy and you had a long, crappy day. I just meant…"

"I'd love to come to your place tonight, Ash."

"Oh, Okay." Ashley started up the car with a goofy grin, and pulled away from the curb in front of Chelsea's building. "I have to admit, Spence, I was surprised Audrey didn't have to work harder to get you to say yes to a sleepover. Thought you'd say no, actually."

"She was ready," Spencer shrugged. "I always hated how my mom would tell me, when I was growing up, that I didn't really know what I wanted, or what I could or couldn't handle…she still does that, actually. I promised myself I'd never do that to my kids, long before Audrey even got here. And yeah, I might think she's still a little too young…but if she feels ready, who am I to tell her she's not?"

"That's just like how I feel about you," Ashley remarked casually, her eyes mostly on the road as she spoke. "Cause of how I've never had a real girlfriend before, and never thought I would want one…but then I met you. And I just knew I was ready. For, y'know, everything." She glanced over at the suddenly silent blonde beside her, who was staring at her with a completely unreadable, rather intense look in her ocean-blue eyes. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Nope," Spencer shook her head slowly, reaching over and trailing a few fingers up and down Ashley's leg. "I think I just got a second wind, though…and guess how I'm planning on using it?" She cocked her head and smiled not-at-all innocently.

"I dunno…I guess you'll just have to show me."


	10. Chapter 10

Hey kids!

sorry this update took a while; I've been way busy lately. Plus I had this really weird reaction to a tetanus booster shot last week, that made my left arm temporarily paralyzed, which as you can imagine totally made typing an issue. Anyway, everything is cool now-- enjoy the update!

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 10**

**By JewWitch**

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Though she was more awake now, there was still something languid and dreamlike about Spencer's movements as she pushed Ashley back into the bed, kissing her, slowly sucking in her lower lip; then just as slowly and deliberately rubbing her whole body against Ashley's, like a cat. The motion drew a deep moan of longing from Ashley's throat, totally independent of her brain. Her awareness had been whittled down to the feeling of Spencer's teeth gently tugging her lip, her hot breath, her hair spilling down to graze against Ashley's face and throat.

"Spencer…" Ashley panted, trying hard to keep her head. "I think you might be a little drunk…are you sure you want to…oh, fuck…" Spencer had just traced her tongue up the edge of Ashley's ear.

"Just shut up, okay?" Spencer whispered, pressing her face into Ashley's hair, one hand slipping under her shirt to rub teasing circles around her bellybutton. "I want to be with you. I'm sure." Any misgivings Ashley might have had died away when Spencer pulled back and smiled at her, a mixture of sweetness and blazing desire in her ocean blue eyes. Ashley's heart began thudding painfully in her chest. At some point while they were kissing, she took one of Spencer's hands and pressed it over the spot where she felt the frantic pounding; maybe it was all in her head, anyway, but at the touch of Spencer's palm, the pounding eased. Spencer rubbed the spot lightly, tenderly; then slipped both hands to the buttons on Ashley's shirt.

"You are so beautiful," Spencer whispered, in a dazed sort of awe, pushing Ashley's shirt back off her shoulders with nimble fingers.

"No, you are," Ashley grinned shyly. She'd heard these words before, but coming from Spencer, they felt…different. Real. This wasn't some pickup line; as far as Ashley could tell, Spencer didn't _have_ any pickup lines. The knowledge that it was _her_ Spencer wanted, her and no one else, drove Ashley wild with desire, tinged with a maddening protectiveness. "And I am so completely yours, Spencer Carlin."

"Yay me," Spencer murmured, slipping the straps of Ashley's lacy black bra down off her shoulders, and releasing the front clasp between her breasts. Ashley stayed still, letting Spencer undress her. She'd been undressed by so many people, in so many places, that she sometimes worried it could never feel exciting again, like driving a car for the first time; eventually, the thrill of freedom and speed wear off, any everything becomes banal. But as Spencer's gentle fingers grazed over her skin, Ashley felt a zing she'd never felt before, not even when it really _was_ her first time.

"My amazing girl," she whispered, cupping Spencer's face in both hands and pulling her in for another deep kiss, the cotton of the blonde girl's t-shirt rough against her bare chest. She reached for the hem of the offending garment, and Spencer lifted her arms without being asked, allowing Ashley to pull it off and fling it carelessly across the room. Before she could do any more, though, Spencer re-asserted her dominance, pushing Ashley back against the headboard and lowering her face to the brunette's chest, nuzzling into one of her pert breasts. She explored the soft, smooth landscape with lips and tongue; when she sucked a hard nipple into her warm, wet mouth, Ashley gasped, her breath catching raggedly in her throat.

"Holy fucking God, Spencer…" Ashley's hands buried themselves in thick blonde hair, and Spencer, emboldened, caught the little nub between her teeth, swirling the tip of her tongue around it. Ashley let go of Spencer's hair and raked her nails up the smooth skin of her back, both of them panting and whimpering now.

"I feel like I'm gonna die if I don't touch you," Spencer whispered, squirming on top of Ashley, their legs tangled urgently together.

"Me too," Ashley agreed breathlessly, hands still gripping Spencer's back, like gravity might reverse and pull her away at any moment. "Please, Spence…I need you…" Ashley's voice died in her throat as Spencer's fingers slipped between her legs and found her clit, teasing it with the lightest touches.

"Is this okay?" Spencer murmured, the uncertainty in her voice heartbreakingly innocent.

"So very, very okay," Ashley panted, slipping one hand up to pull Spencer down by the back of her neck, kissing her deeply. All insecurity now put to rest, Spencer's interest in Ashley's clit intensified, fingers running quickly through the wetness deeper down just to come back up and swirl around the hard little nub, tracing its length, rubbing it with just the right amount of pressure to draw Ashley's pleasure out into exquisite torture. The dark haired girl pushed her hips up harder into Spencer's hand, desperate for release. They were both panting now, and Spencer ducked her head down against Ashley's throat, where her hot breath blazed against her girlfriend's pulse point. With an animal wail, she felt Ashley's whole body arch up into hers, wave after exquisite wave of pleasure pulsing through the trembling body below.

With a shared sigh, they both collapsed back onto the bed, bodies slick with sweat. After a few lazy, content moments of silence, Ashley began to come back to her senses, and noticed that Spencer was shivering on top of her, gulping shallow breaths of air. Ashley reached out and pulled the blankets up around them both, wrapping her arms around the trembling blonde.

"You okay, baby?" Ashley murmured, trailing her fingers lightly up and down Spencer's back.

"My heart is beating so fast…"

"I know. I feel it," Ashley nodded, leaning up to touch the smooth skin above Spencer's thudding heart, pressing a soothing, gentle kiss to her lips. Then the dark-haired girl looked up, a blissed-out glaze still shining in her dark eyes. "I don't think I've ever felt that good in my whole damn life," she smiled, and, quick as a flash, she'd flipped Spencer onto her back. The blonde girl gave a shrill squeak of surprise. "Allow me to return the favor," Ashley growled playfully. Spencer giggled delightedly, a shy, but very pleased grin breaking over her flushed face. Ashley leaned down and began kissing and nibbling her throat, desire rising hot and strong inside her again in an instant.

"Ash…" Spencer moaned, arching up hard as Ashley sucked the soft skin between her teeth. It was at that unfortunate moment that Spencer's cell phone went off in her bag, jerking them both from their comfortable sprawl. The words _don't answer it_ were on the tip of Ashley's tongue when she remembered two things: one, Spencer had a daughter, who might at that moment need her. Two, they were still waiting for any word on Mimi's condition from the hospital, and the nurses had promised to call the moment the old woman was awake. Spencer dove for her phone, and Ashley didn't try to stop her.

Twenty minutes later, they were stumbling into the ICU, clumsily dressed, with mussed hair and mismatched buttons. Then again, it _was_ two in the morning, and no one was likely to question their disheveled appearance. Spencer's face, so recently flushed with heat and desire, had gone alarmingly pale. Ashley couldn't think of anything to do that might help, so she just followed Spencer silently through the maze of corridors, until they came to the ICU admittance desk. Dr. Pulaski didn't keep them waiting long this time, ushering them both down the quiet corridor as he explained what they should expect when they went into Mimi's room. She was awake, yes; but she couldn't speak, and the right side of her body was paralyzed. It was likely that she wouldn't understand anything they said, either, but at this early juncture there was no way to tell for sure. Ashley wanted to tell the doctor to shut up, already, as she watched the effect his bleak pronouncements were having on Spencer; but she figured that open hostility toward the doctor probably wouldn't go over well with the shaky blonde beside her. She settled for squeezing Spencer's hand, hard, and asking the grim doctor if there wasn't _something_ good he could tell them.

"Right now, there are still a lot of unknowns," Dr. Pulaski explained brusquely as he led them to Mimi's door. "Many stroke patients recover significant motor skills in the first 48 to 72 hours; it's perfectly possible that, two days from now, she'll be smiling and sitting up on her own. But at Mrs. Katz's advanced age, the odds that she'll have a slower recovery are significant. We'll keep her here until she's stable, then she'll be transferred to a stroke recovery clinic, where they'll be able to tell you a lot more about what to expect over the next three to six months. She'll most likely need to learn to speak, eat, and walk all over again." Ashley felt Spencer's hand squeezing hers back, and resisted the urge to bitch-slap the doctor all the way down the hall.

"Thank you, Dr. Pulaski," Spencer said hollowly, and Ashley just nodded. After he'd left, the two of them stood in front of the door to Mimi's room in silence for several long, uncomfortable moments.

"Spence? Do you want to go in by yourself first, or"—

"No way," Spencer shook her head, snapping out of her momentary daze. "You're coming, too." She gulped, and put her hand on the door; but she didn't push it open.

"You know that no matter what, whether she can talk or smile or any of that, Mimi still knows you love her," Ashley said quietly, slipping one hand to Spencer's lower back, lightly rubbing the warm skin there. "Seeing your face, hearing your voice, that's what's going to help her most right now…even if she can't express it." Spencer sighed heavily.

"Let's go in."

The figure in the bed was very still, but her eyes were open. One looked normal, while the other drooped, as if drifting toward sleep. There was a bald patch on the side of her head, where they'd shaved her for the surgery; thankfully, the ugly incision was covered by a large square of pristine white bandage. As the two girls walked in, Mimi's eyes—both droopy and normal—tracked to them.

"Hi, Nana," Spencer said slowly, sitting down in the chair beside the bed, and tentatively reaching out for the old woman's hand. When she encountered no resistance, she slipped the wrinkled old hand into both her own. "It's me, Spencer…you remember, right?" She smiled wanly, but Mimi gave no sign that she'd heard or understood Spencer's words. "And I brought Ashley, too. See? We're both here." Feeling rather useless, Ashley took a step forward and put both hands on Spencer's shoulders, feeling the how tense the muscles were under her hands. She began to lightly knead the tightness from Spencer's shoulders, making the blonde girl sigh, and lean her head back briefly. "Do you think she even hears me?" she asked sadly.

"She hears you," Ashley said quietly. Spencer glanced up over her shoulder, and Ashley leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips, trying to show Spencer the comfort her words couldn't express. They stayed another fifteen minutes or so, talking quietly to the unresponsive old woman, until her unblinking eyes finally closed in sleep. Ashley was grateful for this, as exhaustion was creeping into her own limbs, too, along with a headache that had recently begun to throb behind her eyes. She knew Spencer couldn't be much better off, and after a few quiet minutes of watching the old woman sleep, she squeezed the blonde girl's shoulder.

"C'mon, baby, there's nothing else we can do for her tonight. It's late; we need to go home and get some sleep."

"'Kay," Spencer nodded, looked pretty dazed and drowsy herself, and allowing Ashley to lead her from the hospital room. They didn't speak at all in the car, until Ashley had pulled into the driveway and cut the engine, ready to climb out and crawl straight into bed. "Ash?" Spencer stopped her with a hand on her arm. Ashley blinked her dark eyes at the searching blue ones across from her. "I'm sorry about…all of this. You shouldn't have to deal with this stuff."

"Yeah, well, neither should you," Ashley shrugged, taking the hand Spencer had placed on her arm, and kissing it. "But you're not the kind of person who walks away when the people you love need help. And I'm not the kind of person who can walk away from…well, you." She said this last part a little sheepishly, unused to making such bold declarations of love for anything other than ice cream or chocolate. Her awkward honesty seemed to do the trick, though, getting a genuine smile from the blonde, and a sweet, warm kiss.

They crawled into bed without speaking, curling up together like puzzle pieces and falling asleep almost instantly. It seemed like only a few minutes had passed before Ashley was blinking her eyes open in the pale light of morning, nestled under Spencer's sleep-warmed limbs. It would have been an extremely comfortable way to wake up, if not for the pain still stabbing ruthlessly at her head. She gave a miserable little groan, slipping one hand out from under the covers to rub her eyes. _This sucks_, Ashley thought, glancing down at the still form of her girlfriend curled around her. She knew Spencer must still be exhausted, and she didn't want to wake her; but she didn't think she could wait until the blonde girl woke up to get herself the Advil she desperately needed. Slowly, Ashley shifted her position, easing herself out from under Spencer's limp body.

"Mmm," Spencer mumbled, twitching a little in her sleep. "Don't go that way…you'll get stuck in the peanut butter…" Ashley bit down a snort of laughter. She wondered if Spencer talking in her sleep was a regular thing, or if this was just a result of their long, stressful night, and the momentary jostling that Ashley had given her.

"Shh, baby," she whispered, running her fingers lightly through her girlfriend's silky blonde hair. "It's okay, I won't go near the peanut butter."

"Mm-hmm," Spencer murmured, a little shudder running through the length of her body before she relaxed, and slipped back into a deeper sleep. Ashley smiled, despite the throbbing ache in her head, and leaned down to nuzzle her face into Spencer's sweet-smelling hair.

"You are so precious," she whispered, giving the sleeping girl a light kiss on the temple before she slipped out of bed, padding to the bathroom and swallowing four Advil with a swig of water from the sink. A glance at the clock informed her that there was no godly reason for her to be up at this hour; she was doubly annoyed when she thought of how unlikely it was that she'd get an Audrey-free morning with Spencer again anytime soon. Ashley loved the exuberant little girl, she really did; but a lazy morning in bed with Spencer was something she'd really been looking forward to, and certainly not something she'd ever experienced before with any of her nameless flings.

Resolved to make the most of the morning, headache or no, Ashley slipped into the shower, hoping a nice, hot steam would help the painkillers along. After twenty minutes under the hot blast, she felt a bit better, and ready to crawl back into bed beside the sleep-warmed blonde. Spencer had squirmed onto her side in Ashley's absence, one arm dangling off the side of the mattress as if she were reaching out for the dark-haired girl in her sleep. Ashley slipped under the sheets behind her, pressing herself against the length of Spencer's back, one arm wrapping around her stomach. The arm that had been stretched out over the edge of the bed came back, covering Ashley's, as Spencer arched her back in a huge, sleepy stretch, a contented sigh escaping her lips as she curled up again, with Ashley spooned against her back. Ashley buried her face in Spencer's hair, grinning, and dropped back off to sleep.

The next time her eyes opened, Ashley knew it was much later; the pale light of daybreak had melted into the rich, buttery glow of late morning, and, even more telling, Spencer was sitting up in bed beside her, playing with her hair and gently calling her name. Ashley groaned and buried her face against Spencer's hip.

"Morning, sleepyhead," Spencer crooned, lightly scratching her nails up and down Ashley's back. "I'm sorry to wake you, but it's past ten, and I gotta go pick up Audrey from Chelsea's. Wanna come? We could all go out for breakfast somewhere."

"Ugh," Ashley whined, finally rolling over and opening her eyes. Her head was pounding again, and now her throat felt raw and scratchy, like she'd been screaming her head off all night at a rock concert. _Just great, Ash, perfect time to get sick_, she thought irritably_. Like Spencer doesn't have enough to worry about right now without your whiny little ass. _

"Hey, are you okay Ash?" Spencer cocked her head, smoothing a lock of dark hair back behind her ear.

"Uh-huh," Ashley nodded blearily. "Just tired…I think you better go without me, okay babe? I'm just gonna sleep a little longer."

"Okay," Spencer nodded, leaning down and covering Ashley's face with light kisses before slipping out of bed. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Mm-hmm," Ashley agreed absently, aware of one more light kiss on her lips before Spencer was gone. Once she was alone, Ashley slipped back into a restless, uneasy sleep, waking in a panic from bad dreams to find that the day was more than half gone. She finally dragged herself out of bed a little after three, sweating and shivering, in search of more Advil. Once she'd swallowed it, she realized she was really, really thirsty; she stood shakily over the sink and guzzled down two full glasses of water.

"Man, this totally blows," she grumbled out loud to no one. Ashley hardly ever got sick, and couldn't think what else to do to make herself feel better. The obvious answer—call your girlfriend to come take care of you—was not an option as far as Ashley was concerned; not when there was so much else going on that required Spencer's attention. Between navigating Mimi's transition from the ICU to rehab, finding new childcare for Audrey come Monday morning, and running around trying to find the money and insurance coverage to pay for all of this, Ashley figured the last thing on earth Spencer needed was her whining that she didn't feel good. Resolved to tough it out, Ashley pulled the quilt off her bed and wrapped it clumsily around her shoulders, stumbling slowly downstairs, where she flopped on the couch and turned on the cartoon network.

She'd watched two episodes of Josie and the Pussycats, and half of Powerpuff Girls, when her phone lit up and began to vibrate. She knew it was probably Spencer; but she let it go to voicemail. When the buzzing stopped, she picked it up and dialed the number to retrieve the message. Spencer's warm voice flooded the receiver, making Ashley feel better and worse at the same time. _Hey Ash! Just checking in. Audrey and I are at the grocery store, and I just wanted to see if you had any thoughts on dinner. Audrey's lobbying for hamburgers. Do you like hamburgers? Anyway, give me a buzz and let me know if you want to come have dinner with us, or if you wanna come over later. Bye, baby!_

When the sound of Spencer's voice abruptly ended, Ashley closed her eyes, sighing miserably. She really, really wanted Spencer here right now. But she couldn't be that selfish. Knowing she probably sounded as bad as she felt, she texted Spencer instead of calling back. _Cant 2nite. Sorry._ A minute later, she got a message back: _r u ok? Dont lie. _"Dammit, Spencer," she muttered darkly to herself. The blonde girl was making it extremely difficult for Ashley to be noble. _I'm fine_, she texted back_. Just got the flu or something. Dont worry_. Spencer must have been satisfied with this, because she didn't text back again; but half an hour later, the doorbell rang. At first Ashley ignored it, figuring that it was either Girl Scouts selling cookies, or a Jehovah's Witness. But it rang again, and again, until finally Ashley had to climb off the couch and answer it.

"What?" she snarled when she finally got the door open. Spencer was standing there with a bag of groceries on her arm, head cocked in her typical puppy dog gesture, smiling angelically at Ashley's scowl.

"Well, what do you think? After everything you've done for me lately, I'm just gonna leave you all alone while you're sick?" Spencer pushed past Ashley into the house, putting her groceries down on the landing and pulling the bewildered brunette into a hug. "Aw, poor baby, you've got a fever," She cooed, smoothing Ashley's sweaty hair back from her face. "Why didn't you say anything before?" Ashley half-shrugged. Now that Spencer's arms were around her, it was impossible not to lean into her.

"You've got enough to worry about," she mumbled sheepishly.

"That's not how it works," Spencer shook her head, tilting Ashley's chin up so she had to make eye contact. "I love you, okay? And I'm always gonna be here when you need me." Inexplicably, Ashley felt tears well up in her eyes, spilling over before she had a chance to push them back down. Spencer kissed her forehead and hugged her tight.

"I'm sorry," Ashley sniffed awkwardly.

"Shh, baby, it's okay. C'mon, let's get you comfy on the couch…then I'm gonna make you some chicken soup. And I got some movies and ice cream, too. Does that sound good?" Ashley nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She let Spencer pull her back to the couch, and tuck her under the blankets, before the obvious question occurred to her.

"Where's Audrey?"

"I dropped her back at Chelsea's for dinner. She wanted to come keep you company, too, but I told her that you didn't have anything for her to play with here, and she'd just be bored."

"Are you sure this is okay, Spence? I don't want to make things harder for you…"

"Stop it, Ash, you're not making things harder."

"But what if I get you sick, too?"

"I already had my flu shot this year," Spencer shrugged. "One of the few perks of having a workaholic doctor for a Mom."

"Okay, but…"

"Ashley." Spencer fixed the argumentative brunette with her most authoritative, mom-like glare. "You are _not_ getting rid of me, so just save your breath, okay? The longer you argue, the longer it will be before you get your soup." She followed this pronouncement with an angelic Carlin smile; and Ashley finally caved.

"Okay." She grinned sheepishly. "I guess this means you really _do_ like me for more than just my body, after all."

"What tipped you off?" Spencer murmured, smirking, before kissing Ashley lightly on the lips, and scooting off to the kitchen to unpack her groceries.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Carlin Girls**

**Chapter 11**

**By JewWitch**

……………………………………………………………………………………………

"Okay, see, when you said you were making chicken soup, I figured you meant opening a can of Campbell's and warming it up." Ashley blinked at the groceries now lying across her kitchen counter; carrots, celery, onions and a bunch of some fresh herb, plus an actual raw chicken. It looked pretty gross.

"Well I guess you don't know everything about me, do you?" Spencer said airily, bustling around for a pot and filling it with water. "My dad may have bailed on me for the starving babies in Africa, but before he went, he taught me a thing or two around the kitchen. Trust me, you're never gonna touch canned soup again after this."

"But you really didn't have to go through all this trouble…" Ashley started to say, before she broke off coughing, doubling over against the wall. "Owwww," she whined when she got her breath back, wincing.

"No offense, Ash, but you sound like crap. Go lie down, okay? I'll bring you some tea once the soup is cooking." Spencer crossed to where Ashley stood pouting in the doorway, running a hand through her messy curls and kissing her forehead.

"But I don't _want_ to be in there when _you're_ in _here_," Ashley protested, her voice getting croakier, and whinier, by the minute. "And I don't like tea."

"Yeah, well I didn't ask you if you liked it." Spencer cocked her head, but this time there was nothing coy about the gesture. She was in full mommy-mode now, and Ashley suddenly realized that she'd had no idea what she was getting herself into. "You may not have noticed this, but you sound like you swallowed a pound of gravel mixed with broken glass. Tea will make your throat feel better, trust me. And I'll put lots of honey in, okay? I promise it'll taste good." Ashley scowled, leaning into Spencer's arms to keep her from moving away again.

"Don't kick me out," she whined. "I'll be…" she turned away from Spencer and sneezed. "…good," she finished hoarsely, with a soft sniffle and a miserable pout. Spencer rolled her eyes indulgently.

"Okay, grouchy girl, you win. Sit." Rather than waiting for Ashley to do as she was told, Spencer pushed her down into a seat at the kitchen table. Then she disappeared into the living room, reappearing a moment later with the squishy comforter Ashley had dragged down from her bedroom, and wrapping it snugly around her.

"Thanks," Ashley grinned sheepishly, accepting a bottle of red Gatorade that Spencer pulled out of her bottomless shopping bag.

"If you don't want tea, at least start with this, okay?"

"So I can be ready for the big soccer game?" Ashley asked sarcastically, with another shallow cough.

"No, smartass. You're all sweaty and feverish, and you're probably already dehydrated, which is gonna make you feel even worse. You need fluids. So drink, or it's back to the couch for you, miss."

"Jeez. You really are a doctor's daughter," Ashley grumbled. One more severe glare from the blonde, and she cracked open the top of the plastic bottle, taking a hasty gulp. Apparently satisfied, Spencer went back to her cooking. Ashley watched her quietly, taking occasional sips of her way-too-sweet beverage whenever Spencer looked up and raised an eyebrow at her. The rest of the time, Ashley quietly observed Spencer making her soup, which actually didn't take nearly as long as Ashley assumed it would (if cooking from scratch wasn't such a huge chore, then why had canned soup and microwave dinners and Chinese takeout ever been invented, anyway?). When the soup was bubbling in the pot, Spencer brought the flame down to low, set the kitchen timer, and led Ashley back into the living room, where they both curled up on the couch.

"This is the part I like," Ashley said drowsily, curling up with her head in Spencer's lap. "Just stay right here and don't move, and I'll feel better in no time."

"Aw, baby," Spencer sighed, playing with Ashley's hair and kissing her lightly all over her face. "You know you're totally blowing your badass street cred right now, dontcha?"

"Don't care," Ashley responded lazily, slipping one hand out from under the covers to trace her fingers lightly around Spencer's knee. The blonde giggled and jerked in her seat.

"Stop it, or I'm gonna give you whiplash," Spencer laughed helplessly.

"Whoa, you're really ticklish," Ashley observed, rolling onto her back and smirking at her girlfriend, who was still giggling, slightly pink-faced. "I am _so_ gonna remember that."

"I'm sure you will," Spencer half-smirked back. "Just like _I'll_ remember the way your nose scrunches up like a cute little kitten when you're about to sneeze."

"Hey, shut up!" Ashley whined, crossing her arms with a comical scowl. "I am _not _a kitten. I'm tough and darkly mysterious."

"Yep, those are some pretty mysterious pajamas," Spencer agreed dryly, tugging at the material of Ashley's yummy-sushi pajama top.

"Well I didn't mean right this second," Ashley grumbled. She seemed determined to pout; but she didn't resist when Spencer slipped a hand under the fabric and started rubbing her stomach in light, soothing circles. "Mmm…okay," she yawned after a minute. "Maybe I am a kitten…but only with you."

Less than five minutes after eating Spencer's magic chicken soup, Ashley was fast asleep on the couch; Spencer stayed and stroked her hair for a few minutes, then crept into the kitchen to clean up her mess. She poked through a stack of CDs beside the stereo, searching for some dish-washing music. Between Uh-Huh Her and Sleater Kinney was a recordable disc, marked _demo_ in Ashley's handwriting. Spencer's eyebrow went up. She stuck it in and pressed play.

…………………………………………………………………..

"Ash? Time to wake up, baby."

"Mmm."

"C'mon, little kitten…I'm sorry, I know you're sleepy, but I need you to wake up now." Spencer scratched her nails lightly up and down Ashley's back, leaning down and kissing her all over her face. Ashley didn't open her eyes, but squeezed them tighter shut, pressing her face into Spencer's leg with a plaintive whine.

"Whaaaat?" she grumbled croakily.

"Hey." Spencer smiled, apparently impervious to Ashley's crankiness. "Listen, I have to go pick Audrey up soon and get her to bed…and I was hoping I could convince you to come stay at our place tonight. I don't want you here all by yourself when you're sick."

"I'll be okay, Spence. I _can_ take care of myself, you know." Ashley yawned and rolled onto her back.

"I know you can," Spencer agreed, threading her fingers idly through Ashley's dark hair. "But I like it better when I take care of you." Ashley's eyes finally opened, and she grinned shyly up at the blue eyes searching her own.

"Yeah…me too." Spencer positively beamed. Ashley held out her arms, and Spencer pulled her up into a sitting position on the couch.

"Whoa...head rush." Ashley closed her eyes and pressed a hand to her forehead. "Ughhh…I feel so yucky, Spence," she whined miserably.

"I know, baby, shh…I gotcha." Spencer rubbed her back, and kissed her hot forehead. "I'm right here." The blonde was pretty sure that her girlfriend wasn't in the habit of letting people see her this vulnerable, and she took a strange sort of delight in lacing up Ashley's shoes and helping her into her coat. Ashley didn't say much; she seemed spent, content to follow Spencer's lead for once.

"So, hey, that demo disc in the kitchen," Spencer remarked in a would-be casual tone as they drove to Chelsea's. "Is that you singing? Cause it's totally amazing."

"You listened to my demo?" Ashley frowned. "Without even asking?"

"Well you were asleep, and I was doing the dishes, and…it was just sitting there…" Spencer glanced over at the stony expression on Ashley's pale face, and backpedaled awkwardly. "I'm sorry, Ash, I didn't think it was anything private. And I'm trying to tell you I really loved it. I mean, that's what you want to do, right? Be a musician?" Ashley closed her eyes and put her head in her hands.

"Look, Spence, I know you're not trying to piss me off, but can we _please_ not talk about this right now?"

"Um, okay," Spencer frowned in confusion. An awkward silence settled into the space between them.

"So…what about you?" Ashley finally asked, obviously casting about for something to break the tension. "Have you figured out what you're gonna do with Audrey tomorrow? You don't _have_ to go back to slinging espressos at the Haymarket, you know." Spencer sighed heavily.

"Actually, I have no freakin' idea what I'm gonna do. I can't afford childcare on my salary…but I can't afford to quit my job, either."

"Yes you _can!_ I know you want to be independent, but what kind of plan have you really got right now? Are you gonna serve coffee for the rest of your life? You're all kinds of smart, baby, you should be in school so you can do something you love. Then you'll have all the independence you need. And if the only reason you're not going for it is financial, then, well…I just think that's stupid." Ashley finished her impromptu speech rather abruptly, a flush rising in her cheeks.

"Is that so?" Spencer glanced across the seat, her cryptic expression somewhat diminished by the affectionate half-grin twitching across her face. "I think you're just trying to deflect the conversation away from your music, and why you're not doing anything with it." Ashley groaned, but had the decency to at least look slightly abashed.

"Please, Spence, I ju…just…" Ashley's voice trailed off into a sneeze, followed by a croaky cough; and another tired, miserable groan. She leaned her forehead against the car window.

"Bless you, baby," Spencer said sweetly, reaching into the little compartment between the two seats, and pulling out a pocket-pack of Kleenex. "I'm sorry, I was only teasing. You don't have to deal with anything right now, okay?"

"Thadks," Ashley mumbled, accepting Spencer's offering without further comment. She didn't say another word until they got to Chelsea's, where Spencer said she could stay in the car if she wanted while she went in and got Audrey. The dark-haired girl just nodded, and leaned her head against the window again, closing her eyes. Spencer was only gone a few minutes, but Ashley had almost fallen asleep in her seat when the back door opened, and Audrey bounced energetically into the car.

"Ashley, Ashley!" she squealed, standing between the seats and leaning over into the front. "Look what Melina and me made for you! Well, we drew the pictures, and we told Chelsea what we wanted to say, and then she wrote it down. It's a story about you and Mama, see? It's to make you feel better." She thrust the pages at Ashley, grinning hugely.

"Aw, sweetie…" Ashley blinked, a little bleary, but touched by the little girl's concern. She really was every bit as sweet as Spencer. "Thank you, this is…" she turned her head away from Audrey and coughed, hiding her face in her elbow. "…This is really awesome," she finished hoarsely, slightly breathless.

"Honey, you need to let Ashley relax," Spencer told her daughter firmly, appearing at the little girl's side and strapping her into her car seat. "Remember what I said inside? You promised to let her rest, so she can get better."

"It's okay, Spence," Ashley said quickly, flashing her a weak grin. "Check it out, the kids wrote a story about us. Isn't that cool?"

"Read it! Read it!" Audrey was bouncing in her car seat, still grinning hugely, obviously not deflated by her mother's gentle reprimand.

"Audrey," Spencer said warningly as she slipped into the driver's seat and started the car.

"Sorry," Audrey muttered, the edge of a whine creeping into her voice.

"We'll read your story when we get home, okay? And then it's bedtime."

"Okay," the smaller Carlin reluctantly agreed. After a quiet moment, she added, "Ashley? I'm sorry you don't feel good."

"Thanks, ladybug," Ashley yawned and rubbed her eyes, glancing down at the cover of the story. _Princess Ashley Meets the Good Fairy of Magicland_, it read. Below was an adorable drawing of two figures holding hands; one with dark hair and a crown, and the other with blonde hair and huge fairy wings. Both were smiling. "But you and your mama are making me feel a whole lot better already."


End file.
